Dragon and Fire Sprite
by SoulUnFound
Summary: previously known as The Dragon and The Fire Sprite... but I had to get a new account... so i made a new name... Ginny and Draco... SELF INJURY... no to be taken lightly... you've been warned... I suppose i like it alright, one of my better peices... if yo
1. Default Chapter

The Dragon and The Fire Sprite

**Disclaimer: **yeah, I own nothing, just my plot. 

**A/N: **righto… again… same story, same Author under a different Alias… I really ought to try and remember my passwords to these stupid accounts… ah well. So… I haven't actually worked on this story for months now… I haven't read it in months either… so if you come across some part that sounds odd… or just plain stupid… feel free to let me know and I'll see what I can do about. Mind you this story is not made to be taken lightly… understand that it is about self-abuse; so if you want to send me some flames and whatnot after you read it… please do not make them about how horrified you were after reading it… THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT. well… now that you know… please continue in your journey.     OH YEAH… I also kind of just copied and pasted a couple of chapters together so I wouldn't have to download so many… so if there is a break in the story that sounds odd… that's why… just lemme know and I'll see if I can make it better. for you… it's all for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Virginia Weasley had been ignored all her life; in some aspects it was a good thing, she lived her life the way she wanted to, no one told her what to do. But in other aspects, being alone was one of the most horrible feelings. And that's how Ginny felt all the time; empty, like there was a hole in her soul that had never been filled. Over the years the loneliness can eat away at you, tearing you apart, Ginny knew this feeling all to well. She would be starting her 6th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at the beginning of the next month, and she had never had any real friends. Sure there were her dorm mates who called themselves her friends, but she could never really count on them. Mainly they just used her, she did their homework for them while they went on their dates…after all, she was the smart one and by doing their homework, they could "learn off of her notes". 

So basically Ginny was on her own, she had no one, at all, her brothers didn't even care, well maybe Charlie cared, he always was her favorite, but Charlie was long gone, in Romania, with his dragons. Then Fred and George weren't that bad either, they had always tried to cheer her up when she felt bad…even though they might not have used the greatest methods. Ron was more like a typical brother though, he didn't want her hanging around him that much, especially when he was with Harry and Hermione. She supposed that Hermione was the closest thing she had to a real friend, they didn't talk to much, but Ginny knew that if she wanted to talk, Hermione would be there. And damn that Harry, so she had a crush on him for a couple of years, but it was over now! But noooo, Harry didn't seem to get this, he still thought she was madly in love with him, and his big head wouldn't ever get past that. How she hated him sometimes…

So as Ginny sat there in her room, writing in her journal, the rain falling outside her window, she sort of sank into a depression that would just progress as the year went on…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

September rolled around and School was fast approaching; on the day the Weasleys left, it was a smaller crowd then usual; sure Hermione and Harry were there, but now there were only two Weasleys, Fred and George's final year was last year, and now it was only Ron and Ginny. So Mr. and Mrs. Weasley drove the kids to the station and walked with them onto Platform 9 and ¾. After saying their farewells, Ginny boarded the train, and searched for an empty compartment; not knowing that the year ahead of her would be her worst and her best year ever at Hogwarts.       

Ginny found a compartment towards the end of the train that was empty and sat down on one of the long seats. She leaned against the window and before she knew it, the rocking of the train had put her to sleep. She was in the middle of an odd dream with dancing fairies when a cold, icy voice woke her rudely. 

"What have we here?" sneered Draco Malfoy, "If it isn't the Weasley baby."

Glaring at him in hatred Ginny marveled at how someone so fowl and loathsome could be blessed with such good looks… '_whoa, snap out of it Gin, this is Malfoy we're talking about here_' she thought to herself. 

"Shut up Malfoy, I don't believe you were invited, so why don't you run off to your fan club, of those drooling Slytherin dogs you always have hanging over you," retorted Ginny, matching the sneer on his face with one of her own.

"Touchy, touchy, we are going to have to do something about that temper Weasel, besides I don't see your name on this car, so it's just as much mine as it is yours."

"You know, Draco," she spat out with disgust, "being the biggest prick in the school, one would think that you would have better insults, but it seems that you stopped "maturing" after first year, and that you're still stuck in your 12 year old mind."

"You'll pay for your tounge, Weasel," replied Draco, drawing his wand.

But Ginny was to fast for him, she had carefully hidden her own wand in her overly large sleeve and quickly yelled, "Expellarmis". Draco's wand flew from his hand and the sneer on his faced was replaced by surprise. _'So, this Weasel is not like the rest of them, why she's got a temper to rival mine and she's pretty quick with the wand. Finally_, he thought, _'a challenge.'_

"Well look who's got the upper hand now, Draco" said Ginny holding a wand in each hand. Why don't I put this somewhere for you to find it, I love searching games, don't you Drakkie Boy?" the sarcasm was practically dripping from her voice. Ginny muttered a spell in her head and his wand disappeared. 

All of the sudden, Malfoy lunged at her, but was halted by her Petrificus Totalus spell, his hands only inches from her face.

"Tsk, Tsk, Draco, haven't you gotten yourself into enough trouble for one day? Remember, only one of us has a wand here, and she's not the one in the full body bind. Better go find your wand, I expect we'll be arriving at the school soon." 

She muttered the counter-curse and he fell to the floor, his face flushed red. _'How could I have been beaten by a girl, a Weasley none the less?!'_ he thought, disgusted with himself. He got up, the sneer on his face even more present than before.

"I will seek revenge you little Weasel, and be warned, a Malfoy as your enemy is as bad as having Death as your next door neighbor. No one will hear about this, do you hear me? Or you will rue the day you were born." 

_'Death as your next door neighbor??? What kind of lame threat is that Malfoy?_ Draco questioned himself as he stormed out of the compartment. _Maybe the little Weasel was right, maybe my insults are slipping…well we'll have to fix that. There is no way a Weasley will beat me at insults.'_

_'Yeah, as though I already don't'_, Ginny said to herself, replying to the last remark Malfoy had said before he stormed off, not realizing that Ginny had turned his hair a violent shade of hot pink before he had gone. 

When did my life become so depressed? No friends, the only thing I have to "talk" to is my journal, and this one can't even talk back, she thought. Ginny remembered back to her first year, when she had Tom Riddles diary… he talked to me…but then again he was just using me too, like everyone else in my life. Thanks to that whole episode, I have no friends. People see me in the hallways and stay away from me, they think I'm some kind of freak sideshow…BEWARE! RARE DANGEROUS REDHEAD HAS BEEN KNOWN TO ATTEMPT MURDER! STAY AWAY! DO NOT FEED THE FREAK. Yeah, like I did it on purpose, people don't care, they get sucked into what the media says and it distort the truth so much that they refuse to listen to the real story. Damn that Riddle, he's made my life Hell... 

As the train pulled into the station Ginny gathered her things and walked up to find her brother and his friends. As she walked through the other compartments she heard laughter and whispers about Draco's new hairdo. _Well_, she thought, _at least I'm not totally defenseless like everyone seems to believe_. She got off the train and walked to the carriages. This is going to be one long year, she thought as she sat down by Hermione- one very long year.

That night at The Sorting feast, Ginny picked at her food, she wasn't very hungry, besides, she had the odd sensation that someone was watching her… She looked around at the Great Hall searching for the eyes that were staring at her with a cold, icy contempt. As she rounded on Slytherin, she saw who it was. Malfoy was glaring at her with a look of utter hatred on his face, sending small shivers of fear down her spine. But Ginny didn't let her slight fear show through, she glared just as evilly right back at him. It seemed he had found is wand, though, because his hair was it's normal platinum blonde shade.

Looking back on the incident in the train car, Ginny thought that it might not have been the greatest idea to have messed with Malfoy…after all, he wouldn't let her get away with what she did, Malfoys always get revenge_. No_, she thought angrily, _all the years I have looked down on myself and taken things as they were thrown at me! It's time I show that I do have a backbone, and I can stick up for myself. No more letting Malfoy take the upper hand. Malfoy make be taking revenge for my actions earlier today, but I'm taking revenge for the past 5 years of my life! _

And with that Ginny got up from the table and left the Great Hall for the privacy of her dorm; after all, she was a prefect so she had her own room. As she sat down on her bed after getting on her PJs, she thought of how Malfoy had looked at her earlier…sure, his glare was practically overflowing with contempt, but there was something else, past that. Was it curiosity? _Oh well_, she shrugged as she pulled the covers over herself_, it's just Malfoy, I already showed him that I wasn't going to take his crap anymore- what damage could he do?_

If only she knew…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            At the beginning of the week Ginny had felt that she had started off with the upper hand, but as the week progressed she felt that she had been dealt to many bad cards to deal with; first of all, she had two of her classes with Draco Malfoy:  Double Potions on Tuesday, and double Transfiguration on Thursday (she had been moved up in these classes a year because of her outstanding grades). It wasn't her luck either, that Snape was feeling extra malevolent that day and decided to pair her with her bestest best friend, Malfoy. She also had other accelerated private classes and found that she got almost twice as much work as the rest of her peers. Then on Wednesday she ran into Malfoy in the hallway…no, literally. The fact that he practically ran into her path didn't exactly help the situation much…and it resulted in her falling down the stairs on top of Harry Potter. To her dismay and everybody else's amusement he caught her rather heroically and carried her practically kicking and screaming all the way to the infirmary just in case "she had broken something". The only good thing that happened to her was that she sat next to Orion- a tall black-haired boy in her year that she had a slight crush on- in two of her other classes.

By the end of the week, Ginny was feeling quite depressed, then when she was on her way back to the common room to drop off her bag before dinner when she had an encounter with Malfoy. He passed her on the way down to the dungeons and when he walked by she heard him mutter something…not a second later she heard her overflowing bag ripping and felt it lightening quite rapidly. As she looked down to her papers scattered all over the floor Malfoy said with his trademark sneer dancing all over his face-

"Oops! My fault _Virginia _here let me help you with those…" and with that he kicked her papers off of the balcony and down into the unimaginable depths of Hogwarts. Luckily, Ginny wasn't taking accelerated classes for nothing…

"Reversellus Actionius!" she shouted pointing at Malfoy. Suddenly it was as though she was watching a movie being rewound and all of her papers came flying back up the stairs and into her now magically indestructible book bag. And with that she stormed off to the Common Room with Malfoy looking after her in awe and ever growing anger. _Damn Weasley beat me again! Well at least only a few first years saw…and after I knock some obedience into them, they won't remember a thing…_

            Ginny stormed up to her room and threw her bag down onto the bed and tried to recompose herself, finding that hard because she was close to tears. She had been so stressed out and the last thing that she needed was to have Malfoy after her. Man did she hate him! But she couldn't let him know that he had gotten to her, so she took a deep breath and headed down to the Great Hall for dinner, trying to look as normal as possible. _At least there is a trip to Hogsmead this weekend, _she thought_, maybe that'll cheer me up…_

So that weekend rolled around and as she headed toward Hogsmead, Ginny was feeling slightly better. She loved it outside in the warm sun, feeling the fall breeze playing with her red and gold hair. Ginny was a loner, as you might have guessed; she wasn't the outgoing type and focused a lot on her schoolwork, saying to herself that she didn't have time for friends. But she knew she was lonely- being a teenage girl with no close friends was hard, but she tried not to let her loneliness overcome her as it did so many late nights in her bedroom.

 As she walked through the village, Ginny spotted a metal works shop, with beautiful minature iron carvings and various other things. She walked into the store and noticed that they also had an extensive collection of knives. Small knives with intricately carved handles made of different types of wood, large knives with harsh jagged edges and thick, cold handles. Ginny walked by a shelf with some of the smaller knives, and saw one with a figure of a fire sprite that made up the majority of the handle. It had delicately carved red, orange and gold hair that whipped about her face and sparkled in the sunlight, her eyes were yellow gems inset into the wood, and her short translucent red dress played at her calves and felt as though it was made with real silk. Ginny ran her fingers lightly over the knife, turned it around in her hand. On the back was a tiny inscription, which Ginny wouldn't have seen if she hadn't been totally mesmerized by the enchanting knife. In elegant miniscule letters along the back of the sprites legs there was carved a short phrase that was in French. It read:

votre Coeur est votre feu- 

Votre amour est ton desir

Ginny was learning French in her Study of Modern World Culture; Comparing Muggles to Wizards class. Ginny wanted to be an international translator for the Muggle Relations Council once she passed from Hogwarts and the World Culture was one of the extra course classes she was taking. She easily translated the inscription and in English it read:  _Your heart is your fire, your love is your desire_. 

Ginny had instantly fallen in love with the knife and felt that she was somehow drawn to it; connected to it in some way. So she carried over to the merchandiser, an elderly witch who looked like she belonged in a children's book as the perfect grandmother. Ginny set the knife gently onto the counter, and looked up at the woman. Old though she might have been, the witch's eyes were full of light and strength and understanding. Somehow Ginny felt as though she knew this woman, but shook the feeling off as she reached into her pocket to bring out her small purse. She had been saving up for a while, not sure what for, but as soon as she saw the knife she felt she needed it, as though it had belonged to her from the very beginning when it was still a young tree. She felt as though she had to have the knife, what for though she wasn't sure. 

"How much do you want for this knife?" the shy sixteen year old, tentatively, as though she was sure the knife would be way too expensive for her. 

The old woman looked the girl over from her red hair, to her bright, yet sad green eyes, to her tattered cloak. By the state of her clothes, the woman guessed that the girl didn't have much money, so she lowered the price from  20 Galleons (after all the knife was hand made by a well known French woodcarver) down to 11. 

"Eleven Galleons," said the witch, her voice equally as kind as her eyes.

Ginny's eyes widened, she had only 8 galleons and 12 sickles. 

"7 galleons," countered Ginny, trying to lower the price.

"9" was the reply.

"8 galleons and 12 sickles- please, that's all I have." said Ginny in her last attempt.

"Alright, I guess that will be my good deed for the day," sighed the lady in mock defeat, but with a twinkle in her eyes, not at all unlike Dumbledor's. She smiled down at the petite girl as she wrapped the knife up in delicate red silk that matched the sprites dress and laid it into a wooden box with intricate carvings on it. Putting it into a bag, she handed it to Ginny, who smiled up at her. 

"Thank you very much Ms.-?"

"Mrs. DeLaClaire," replied the aged witch, "and you're quite welcome. Maybe I'll see you again sometime."

"Goodbye," said Ginny as she walked through the door, her step lighter as well as her pocket. For some reason, the purchase of the knife made Ginny happier, she didn't even know why she bought it, she just felt that she needed it. Her slightly elated spirits didn't last however; as she turned a corner she almost ran into Malfoy and his troll-like flunkies Crabbe and Goyle. 

"Oh, well if it isn't our little friend Gin. You don't mind if I call you that, do you, Gin. Or maybe Ginger would suit you better?" Draco sneered at her as Dumber and Dumbest snickered stupidly behind him. Ginny turned around and started walking away as Draco jumped in front of her.

"Hey now! Not so fast Ginger! Aren't you even going to show me what you bought?" 

With that, he snatched the bag out of Ginny's clenched fist and took out the wooden box and studied the lid. 

"Oooh, a LaCoeur. These are expensive pieces of work. Now, I fail to see how a street rat like you could manage to afford one of these" taunted Malfoy waving the box in front of her face. Just as he was about to open the box, Ginny pulled out her wand. "Accio Box" she said and the wooden box flew out of Malfoy's hand into the bag and back into Ginny's hands. 

"I thought you would have learned by now, not to mess with me Malfoy," stated Ginny coldly, "You may think you were God's gift to this planet, but I refuse to let you walk all over me like I was some kind of piece of trash you just tossed aside. Now, why don't you be a good boy and run along with your, er, friends? After all, we wouldn't want everyone to find out what really happened to your hair that night on the train, would we? I could see it now, boy wouldn't the rest of the Slytherins be mad to know that Malfoy was beaten by a Weasley, the youngest, the girl Weasley at that? Yeah, that's what I thought." 

Ginny saw a slight look of panic cross his face before it was replaced by a look of hatred that could turn a first year to ice. Frustrated with the girl, Malfoy turned around and stalked away, motioning for Crabbe and Goyle to follow.

With a slight feeling of satisfaction Ginny walked slowly back to Hogwarts. She hadn't gone into the store until late that afternoon, and now the sun was beginning to set, casting a red orange glow on her surroundings and making her hair look like it was on fire. 

Watching the girl's back retreating from the village, Malfoy looked at her angrily. Though frustrated from being defeated by a Weasley for the what? Third time in one week, he couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was when she was angry, her eyes flashed and she threw her hair back… _Whoa, slow down there Malfoy, this is a Weasley you're daydreaming about!!  _Even more disgusted with himself he told his flunkies to leave him alone and walked toward the hills. Behind a grove of trees on one of the larger hills there was a small cave with a stream running through it. He had found this place last year, and often came here when he needed to get away from things. He was feeling so stressed lately, sometimes he just wanted to be alone. At school Crabbe and Goyle hung around him constantly and when Pansy was around she clung to him like a leech. Man, did he hate them. At home, his father didn't find it to be often enough to remind him that after next year he would be joining the death eaters, so he made him start Dark Arts training. He only escaped from that now because he was at school. He would die before he became a Death Eater; he hated his name. Malfoy. He was stereotyped by everyone, but he never wanted to grow up to be like any Malfoy; either his abusive, controlling father, or his helpless drone of a mother. Thinking back to the weekend before school started, Malfoy remembered the argument his parents were having. He knew his mother didn't like the fact that Lucius was so wrapped up in the Dark Arts but she would never do anything about it. He wanted to transfer Draco to Durmstrang, but his mother didn't want him to go. Trying to argue with him was useless, and Draco heard his father beating his mother from upstairs, her painful screams echoed through the manor. Draco hated to hear her pain… He ran downstairs in a sudden rage and burst into the room his parents were in. He started hammering his father with his fists and feet but it was no use. He was only doing this in a blind rage and soon his father had him writhing in pain under the Crucaitus Curse. Draco felt this searing pain at least once a week but he never got used to it. This kind of abuse left bruises on the inside, so that no one would know by looking at him. 

As Draco sat there in front of the stream hating himself, his hand went to his knife, which was in his cloak pocket. He looked at it and saw the name LaCoeur etched into the dark handle. He thought back to Ginny and wondered what was in that box that she had. _Was it also a knife? Could she be a cutter too? No_. He pushed the ridiculous thought to the back of his head, thinking that innocent Virginia Weasley would never take up something like self mutilation. He went back to his own knife and thumbed the sharp blade. It was cold to his skin. He looked at the handle, at the black dragon carved into it with the ivory inset scales and it's fiery red Garnet eyes that looked back at his icy gray ones. Taking the knife in his hand he slowly brought it to his skin. Putting pressure on the blade, Draco carefully slid the knife down his arm, spiraling from his shoulder down to his wrist. Setting the knife down, he watched the blood slowly rise between the ridges his knife had created and run down his arm in small streams, falling onto the cold stone. He felt the pain gradually leave his body with the blood that he drew and he picked up his knife again. He carved small swirling designs into his arm and watched as his blood gathered into a small pool on the ground. After about five or six good cuts, he felt more relaxed and washed the blade of in the stream. Then he dipped his arm into the icy water and watched his blood slowly flow away with the current. He brought his arm out and performed a spell which made his arm instantly scab, but left the stinging pain there. He pulled his cloak back over him and left the cave. By this time the sun had set and millions of tiny stars dotted the black night canvas. He walked back up to the castle and snuck into his dorm. After getting dressed for bed he put his knife back into the box and into his dresser drawer. Draco climbed into bed and fell into his usual restless sleep.

~*~*~

Putting her knife into it's box and then into her dresser, Ginny then stood up and walked over to her window. She sat down in it and looked up at the countless stars that dotted the sky. Even though they looked so close to each other, Ginny knew the stars were really miles and miles away from each other. That's how she felt, she might have looked close to her family and "friends" but she was miles away… 

She got down off of the window seat and went to her bed. Drawing the curtains she fell into a light sleep.

The next morning Ginny woke up early; the sun was just beginning to show over the horizon. She got out of bed and put on a pair of jeans and a black quarter sleeve shirt. As she went to close the dresser drawer, she saw the wooden box that contained her knife and she took it out and pocketed it. It had been an unusually warm summer so she didn't need her cloak, so she brushed her hair, grabbed her journal and her leads and set off. Her destination was the lake; and after she stopped by the Great Hall to get some toast and strawberries she headed outside. Ginny then sat down by a tree by the lake and took out her journal and leads. She called it a journal but she really used it more for drawing and writing songs and poems. Charlie had gotten her both the journal and the leads for her birthday a year ago. He found her drawing one afternoon outside in the woods behind their house. He thought she was brilliant but respected her wish not to tell anyone about her drawings. She wanted it to remain her private, personal thing. It was her way of expressing her feelings, so calling her small sketchbook a journal was pretty accurate anyway.

            As Ginny sat there drawing the morning landscape she didn't realize that she was alone. Sitting against a different tree around a small bend in the lake was Draco Malfoy.

            He had seen her come out and remained as still as possible, he didn't want to be seen. Draco watched, intrigued by Ginny as she sat there drawing- her eyebrows knitted in concentration as her small hand moved rhythmically across the paper, pausing only to push her hair out of her face, just to have it fall back a few minutes later. He saw her look up after about five minutes and gaze out across the water, and he saw the sadness in her eyes. He also noticed, even though he still hated her, how beautiful she was. Her long, strait red and golden hair framed her small face, which was slightly spattered with freckles and accented with her large green eyes.

 _She puzzles me; Ginny Weasley. She wasn't like other girls he knew. He had always thought of her as a quite little girl, one who cried whenever someone insulted her… come to think of it, before this year, that's what she did do, every time he said something to her, no, wait, last year she didn't either, she just walked away from me. But now, it seems as though she's changed. Not only did she not cry, but she actually had the nerve to counter my remarks,_ he thought, anger slowly building inside him, replacing his previous thoughts of her beauty. _You just don't insult a Malfoy and then get away with it! _

He turned back to look at her and saw that she was now crying. Silently though, the tears falling slowly down her cheeks. He was angry at her for crying, what did she have to cry about?? He was going to get up and say something to her, but then he saw those sad eyes, and they halted him. _Damn her! Why does she have to be so freakin  innocent? I will find out why this Weasley was so different from the rest_, and with that he got up and walked back to the castle. 

Just then Ginny saw a movement out of the corner of her eye; startled she looked over and saw Malfoy getting up and walking towards the castle. Did he know I was here? He had to have known, he must have been here before me! Flushing red, Ginny looked down at her paper and saw her picture for the first time; usually while she was drawing her mind was elsewhere and her hands did the work. She didn't know how she did it, but it was like her drawings actually came to life when she was done drawing. It was sort of like a cartoon, but more realistic. She watched as the lake in her picture, shimmered gold from the reflection of the sun, and the weeping willows waved their long flowing branches in the slight wind. This calmed her some, though she was still sad. She had been thinking about how lonely she felt and how much she wished she had someone to talk to. She got up and started walking towards the castle. She had a lot of homework that she needed to do for the next week, and was up late trying to finish it all; she had trouble concentrating on her work. 

Monday morning came and the day past pretty uneventfully. But that evening as Ginny sat down to eat dinner, or rather pick unhungrily at it, she saw Malfoy looking at her. This time however, it wasn't the death glare he usually reserved for her; no, this time it was more of a penetrating calculating look that bore deep into her eyes. She tried to shake it off but she couldn't. It was though he was trying to read her mind. After about ten minutes, she got annoyed and left the table. There was something about that look that made Ginny almost wish he would go back to his trademark glare of death. She went up to her room and did as much of her homework as she could before she fell asleep on her papers.

Ginny awoke the next morning with a start, and a pain- sleeping on one's homework does not exactly do wonders for one's neck. She looked at her clock and was alarmed (hehe get it? clock-alarmed…! I put that one in there just for you Moo!) to see that she had to be in her Double Potions class in five minutes. She hastily got dressed and shoved everything that was on her dress, into the bag. After quickly brushing her hair, she sped off to the dungeons. To her dismay she ran in to Peeves along the way. He had just finished stuffing frog guts into a suit of armor, that would explode on the first person to walk by, and was now hovering a little bit down the hallway. Unfortunately for Ginny, she happened to be that person. Boom! The force of the mini-explosion knocked Ginny backwards and into a pile of the frog parts. Now more frustrated and extremely late, she performed a quick cleaning spell on herself and rushed towards the dungeons, wondering what horrid punishments awaited her.

As she skidded into the classroom, Snape saw her and glided menacingly toward her, his black eyes flashing dangerously. 

"My, my Miss Weasley…15 minutes late- that is most unbecoming of a Prefect you know," he taunted coldly, "now let's see, 15 minutes late, so we'll start off with minus 15 points for Gryffindor, and since you're a prefect we'll times that by two, and since I expect to see better behavior from my advanced students we'll times that by two. That brings us to a total of 60 points from Gryffindor, let's see you try to make up for that one Miss Weasley!" 

            Ginny tried to subdue the stinging tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, as she sat down next to Malfoy at their cauldron. He smirked at her as he diced up night crawlers for their potions- but said nothing. She silently measured out some rat bile for their mixture, as Harry and Ron looked at her five cauldrons away.

"Say, Ginny looks like she could use some cheering up, eh Harry?" asked Ron suggestively. Hermione who was working next to them with Neville, now turned around to the two boys.

            "Oh, no you…" but she was cut off by Ron, who was now forming a plan.

            "What we need is to create a diversion- okay, Neville- put something in your potion so as to get Snape to come over here, then I'll go and set off a time release dung bomb under Malfoy's chair. Don't give me that look, Neville, you know Hermione can fix any mess you get yourself into."

            "Ron, I don't think this is a good…" but once again, Hermione was cut off by Ron.

            "Okay, here he comes! Go Neville."

            Neville replied with a nod of his pale, scared head. He dumped an odd liquid into his cauldron that turned it a sickly brown color instead of the bright red it should have been…

            "Longbottem!!!! You insufferable fool! You incompetent twit! I would have thought that when I put you with Miss Granger that you would not have been able to make any more mistakes. But, nooooo, you seemed to have proved me wrong!" and as Snape raged on Ron snuck up behind Malfoy, put the bomb under his chair and snuck back, all without anybody noticing. A few seconds after Snape had finished his tirade, Ron pulled out his wand, muttered a few choice words and the dung bomb exploded in a green nauseating gas that swirled inside the dungeon.

            Seeing as Ginny was the closest to Malfoy, Snape rounded on her. 

            "So, Miss Weasley, you think that because you are having a bad day that you can take it out on my students?!? Well I think not! That'll be another 60 points from Gryffindor and I don't want to see your face in this room until next weeks class. Now out!!" Snapped practically screamed at her. Ginny quickly gathered her things- not noticing the drawing that had fallen to the floor- it must have been shoved into her bag that morning when she was in her hurry- and almost ran out of the door. 

            Once outside the classroom, Ginny broke into a run. She didn't know where she was running to and pretty soon she was lost. She had never been in this part of the castle before. The walls were covered in beautifully illustrated tapestries and all of the doors were glass so you could see what was in them. She walked through the hallway pausing to look into the rooms. She stopped in front of a large room that had many string instruments, which she recognized to be guitars and was just about to open it when-

            "And just where do you think you're going missy?" asked a somewhat out of breath raspy voice. Ginny slowly turned around only to have her tired bloodshot eyes met with Filch's large bulging ones. Great, she thought, as though I haven't had enough idiot encounters for one day…

            "I'm sorry- I guess I got lost…I'll just be heading back now.."

            "A likely tale!" said Filch. "Wander about where you shouldn't be, out during class hours' I believe that will earn you a detention!"

            "But I" Ginny stammered, trying hard to stop the tears. 

            "There's no buts about it missy! Now, you will meet Hagrid at the Forbidden Forest tonight at eight. Now get out of my sight before I give you another detention!" Snarled Filch.

            So Ginny walked back to her dorm room and tossed her bag aside. She threw herself down on her bed but jumped up in pain two seconds later. She must have left her knife on her bed the night before and when she fell, the knife cut her arm. She looked down at the small wound and watched as the blood trickled down her arm. Initially the cut hurt, but as she watched the blood she felt more- relaxed somehow, as thought the physical pain helped to ease her emotional pain. She looked down at her knife and picked it up, examining the sharp blade. She caught the glint of the blade in the sun and lowered it so the cold metal was pressed against her skin. Slowly- her hand shaking slightly, she pressed down on the knife and brought it down her arm. Gasping slightly at the pain she waited for the blood to come- but was disappointed when only a few beads appeared where she had cut. So she cut again, but pressed harder this time, only wincing a little at the sharp pain in her arm. Ginny felt a rush as she saw the red liquid come faster and gently roll down her arm. She loved the feeling it gave her; it made her feel alive. So she cut again, and again. Pretty soon her blood and tears mixed in a small pool on the hard wooden floor she was sitting on. She set down the knife and looked at her arm which was now littered with about twenty cuts. In a slight state of shock, she got up and walked to her bathroom. Turning on the cold water she cleaned off her blade and then her arm. The cuts stopped bleeding after that and turned into long thin scabs. Ginny was grateful for the long sleeves of her robes which hid her arm well. The cloth that ran over the cuts hurt a little, but she felt that she needed the pain. She needed to remember…


	2. Dragon and Fire Sprite 46

**Disclaimer: **Me no own anything. 

**A/N:  **righto… again… last time I read any of this was months ago… seems like forever… I remember very little… ill probably go back and revise the whole thing at some point… ah well… enjoy and critisize

            Malfoy sat in his room mesmerized by the picture that he held in his hands. He had picked it up after it fell out of Ginny's bag a few days ago, he had forgotten about it until now when it fell out of his Potions book. It was a beautiful drawing of the morning sunrise, but it was as though it was alive, you could still see the sketch lines and the shadow smudges but the picture moved as though caught forever in that one morning. It was drawn by a lake- Malfoy recognized it as the lake behind the castle. The water's surfaced was rippled by the gentle breeze and the trees swayed their branches slightly. The colors where there but they were light, as though a white translucent screen was over the picture. In the corner of the picture on a small rock, he could see the initials G.W. _So Ginny drew this? That must have been what she was doing that morning by the lake. Who would have though a little twirp like that could have such talent?_ He put the picture aside and crawled into bed. Tomorrow was Friday and they didn't have classes; the teachers had some sort of meeting to discuss some important teacher thing…

            Wednesday passed without incidence for Ginny and Thursday wasn't bad either. She hadn't cut herself since then, she was sort of afraid to; she felt powerful, more in control than she had ever felt, and she wasn't used to that. So her knife had stayed safely tucked away in her dresser drawer, and she tried to concentrate on her schoolwork instead. But it had been two days since she had picked up her knife and her cuts were starting to itch; it was all Ginny could do not to scratch them open. Grateful for the day off tomorrow, she climbed into bed and fell asleep.

~*~*~

            The next morning Ginny woke up early, like she did every morning when she knew she could sleep in. This always made her mad because once she was up, she couldn't go back to sleep. So she got dressed, and took her journal and leads down to the lake. Before she sat down, though, she scanned the area, to make sure she was alone. Seeing as she didn't find any Malfoys lurking about, she sat down and started to draw. It was still very early though and the sun was just barely visible through the trees, so she didn't notice that she had overlooked Malfoy who had concealed himself behind a large tree. He didn't know what made him go to the lake that morning, but he just had a feeling she would be there. Malfoy was always awake before the break of dawn; he was a restless sleeper. Ever since his father had started performing the Crucaitus Curse on him about two years ago, he hadn't been able to sleep well. Malfoy watched Ginny draw for about five minutes until his curiosity got the better of him. He got up and sneaked up behind Ginny soundlessly. 

            "So how do you do it Weasley?" 

            Ginny heard Malfoy's cold voice behind her and jumped with a start. She turned around angrily to face Draco.

            "Do what Malfoy, although I doubt whatever you are talking about is any of your business!" she spat at him. How dare he spy on her! 

            "Make them come alive?" he said, pointing to her picture. The one she was drawing was of an ocean scene; a sunset. She was only half finished with the picture so it was still a black and white, motionless sketch. 

            "Oh, I –just…" she stuttered out, not expecting his question. How did he know about her pictures? But then she realized that that had been where her lake picture had gone. Malfoy had taken it. "I don't know how to explain it, they come to life on their own when I'm done with them."

" Would you like to see?" she asked hesitantly. 

"Uh, I guess so…" He replied just as hesitantly. _What was up with this random change in attitude? I thought she hated me… maybe this is some kind of cruel joke…no I don't think so, that look was too sincere… Oh well_. And with that, Malfoy sat down beside her and waited for her to finish her drawing. About five minutes later she was done. The result was one of the most beautiful things Malfoy had ever seen…and he didn't exactly go around thinking everything was beautiful.

Ginny laid down her pencils and tilted her paper so that Malfoy could see it better. It was still for a few seconds and Malfoy thought for an instant that she was just fooling with him. But then, color began to sweep across the drawing; the light tan color of the sand, blues mixed with the reds, pinks, oranges and yellows reflecting from the sunset onto the foamy sea. Then it started to move. The waves gently lapped against the shore and seagulls flew in and out of the picture, diving to grab small fish out of the water. It was like a miniature silent color film. But then Malfoy realized who he was sitting next to; the girl who he had been fighting with for the past weeks that school had been going on- the girl he hated with a passion. Quickly he got up and put on his best smirk.

"That's it?" he asked trying to hide his true impression. Wiping the dirt off of his hands he started to walk back up to the castle.

"Not so fast Malfoy," sneered Ginny, making Malfoy turn around, "I attempt to put our previous arguments aside and show you something that I hold very personal, something that I have never shown anyone, and you just act like it's nothing! Well, congratulations Draco. You've succeeded in making me feel like an idiot! What was I thinking, showing my drawing to you?! Draco Malfoy! You would never understand anyway! And what made you think you have the right to spy on me?! Now you better leave before I think of a good curse, and don't even think about threatening me with your wand, you know I'm faster than you anyway. Now get out of my sight!!"

"Whoa, slow down Weasley! I'm going, I'm going! Jeez!" 

And with that he left, his cloak sweeping behind him. But what he didn't know that in his hurry to get up, his knife fell out of his pocket. Ginny saw the knife with the fierce looking black dragon carved into it and picked it up. Feeling it's weight in her hand, she took out her own knife and compared the two. Draco's knife was bigger, with a slightly larger blade, and the metal was some kind of dark steel. She thumbed the blade and pulled her hand back quickly as a small bead of blood formed on her thumb. Draco's knife was definitely sharper, and she wondered what he used it for. Feeling as though she needed someway to relieve her anger, she took his knife and brought it to her skin; pressing down she hardly felt any pain as it sliced her skin. It also cut deeper than her knife- the blood came faster and flowed longer. But afraid of being caught by someone in broad daylight she left it at that one cut.

~*~*~

             Malfoy was angry with himself for doing something so stupid as to talk civilly to a Weasley- what had gotten into him? But he was angrier at Ginny for yelling at him. Why was he so weak when it came to this girl? She wasn't big or strong or anything- she didn't even know how to stand up for herself until this year. What made her so different from the rest of his enemies_? I will beat this "weakness"- just as I have over come every other obstacle thrown at me. I will get revenge_. He told himself this but he still could not forget the hurt look on her face after he had laughed at her drawing- he knew she hated herself for letting him get close to her. _But know I have the advantage _Ginger_…I'll just have to find a way to make that journal fall into my possession…_

            Ginny spent most of her day off outside, drawing mostly; but she visited Hagrid for lunch and he showed her his newest charges for his Care of Magical Creatures classes. They were fenced in from all sides in a sort of dome, and Ginny soon found out why. The creatures were small things that greatly resembled baby turtles- however, they had the ability to float when they pulled their legs in their small shells and popped what looked like miniature umbrellas out. I was quite a humorous spectacle, Ginny thought as she watched the tiny turtle gliding around inside the cage. She also noticed that they had a tendency to meow like cats. After talking to Hagrid for a while, Ginny bid him good bye and walked back to the castle. 

            She went back up to the Gryffindor common room and smiled at Hermione, Ron and Harry as she made her way up to her room. After the Potions incident Hermione had made Ron tell Ginny what had really happened. She was mad at him for a little bit, but soon she had forgiven him, she couldn't stay mad at anyone for long. That was, with the exception of Draco Malfoy. She felt that having his knife gave her a definite advantage over him. She didn't know if the knife was important to him, or what he used it for, but she knew that if she had anything of his, that he would probably go to many lengths to get it back.

            Sunday came, and since Ginny had already done all of her homework, she was bored. Her mind wandered to the hallway she had found with the glass doors. She wanted to go back, so she could explore the room with the guitars; so she climbed through the portrait hole of the common room and set off in search of the hallway. She vaguely remembered going up a flight of stairs that was next to a large picture of some severe looking man- Professor Beaker, it read under the picture. This was when she was still down in the dungeons, so that's where she headed. After about fifteen minutes Ginny had found the staircase to see a small hallway with a statue of some old wizard at the far end. Once in the hallway she didn't know what to do, she just remembered running up the stairway and being in the hallway with the doors. Maybe there's a trap door of some sort… she thought, feeling the walls carefully, in search of some button or lever. After about five minutes of looking and not finding anything, Ginny grew frustrated and went to sit down against a wall and she fell right through it. 

            Rubbing her head, Ginny sat up and looked around her, seeing that she had fallen into the place she had been looking for. Checking to make sure she was alone, Ginny got up and set off in search of the guitar room. A few seconds later she came to the door and lifted her hand to the knob; hoping it wouldn't be locked. It wasn't. She slowly opened the door entered the room. It was a large, brightly lit room with wooden floors and a high ceiling, it was also circular; Ginny assumed this was so the acoustics would be better. It somewhat resembled a small ballroom. Around the room were many guitars, different makes, different styles, different ages, there were at least a hundred. Electric and acoustic…but the electric ones didn't need cords and amps. They were powered by magic. Ginny saw one that caught her attention, it was electric, a violent shade of purple with black streaks shooting through it, and holes cut out of the body. She picked it up surprised at how light it was and sat down in the chair that was placed in the middle of the room. She lightly strummed her fingers against the strings, hearing the notes ringing around the room before fading away. She had seen people playing the guitar before and had been mesmerized by it- the way their hands fly over the strings and the beautiful chords that came from the instruments. She put the guitar back on its stand and circled the room, taking in the other types of guitars. Some were large and bulky, those were mainly the acoustics; there were oddly shaped ones with only four strings- some had big differences, others were subtle, you only noticed them if you were looking. Ginny was extremely interested in learning to play the guitar, and decided to check out some books on it the next time she went to the library. Leaving the room, she walked the length of the hallway, examining the other rooms, before heading back to the common room and to her warm bed.

            About a week had passed when Draco received another letter from his father:

                        Draco,

I expect you are doing well in your classes. Do not, however, forget about 

                        what is coming up at the end of this year. You will be appointed a Death Eater the 

                        evening you turn 18. I hope that even though you can not physically run through your

                        exercises that you are running through them mentally. I want you to be prepared for 

                        Lord Voldemort. I have told him many things about you, and he feels that you will be 

                        a strong addition to the group. Remember, do not show emotion in front of him, he 

                        can sense your weaknesses from miles away. Never show your emotion.

                                                                                                                                    Lucius

            Draco crumpled up the letter and tossed it into the fire. He was well aware of the fate that awaited him, but he did not want any part in it. He hated his father, and his ways; Draco never wanted to be anything like him, and certainly not a Death Eater. He didn't know what he was going to do though, his father was a powerful man, high up on Voldemort's list. 

Thinking about his ill fated future always stressed Draco out; so he looked to his knife to calm him down. Except this time, his knife wasn't there. He looked all over his room and upon not finding it anywhere, he thought about where he could have lost it. The last time he remembered having it was that morning out by the lake, when Ginny had yelled at- GINNY!!! _That stupid Weasel took my knife! How dare she?!?! It is time for my revenge, and I will make her pay severely…_

_Next week_, Malfoy decided on, going through his plan of revenge, _there will be a quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, I can sneak into her room and steal her journal… then we'll see who's the dominant one._

            The next week passed without incident and when Friday came, Malfoy had just finished putting the final touches on his plan. He hadn't cut in a few weeks and the stress was just beginning to creep over him. There was to be another Hogsmead trip next weekend- Halloween weekend, and if Malfoy's plan succeeded, than he would have his knife back by then; he thought triumphantly. For Draco; to cut was to be free.

Draco had started cutting himself a little over a year ago; when his father's beatings became more severe. When he first started to cut, it took him a while to get used the pain, and his cuts were small; only about inch long incisions that he made carefully so no one could see them. But as he got used to the initial slight pain of the blade and the lingering sting and soreness of the cut; he grew more confident with his knife. His cuts got deeper and longer, like the emotional cuts his father left on him. No one knew about his cutting; the only time someone came close was when he had left a blood-stained towel in the bathroom and his mother found it. She asked him what happened and he lied; telling her that he had cut his arm during a fencing practice, and she left it at that. Draco would never admit it, but his cutting was becoming an addiction. He tried not to let it become a dependency because that would show weakness; usually he only cut to relax. Feeling the pain and watching his blood flow from the cuts calmed his nerves. He felt that when he cut, his pain and frustration was released from his body and he was left with the feeling that a dark cloud had been lifted from him. 

Draco looked down at the most recent cuts he had made; back in the cave at Hogsmead. The scabs were gone and all that was left were pale scars; ghosts of the slashes that helped him bleed out all of his pain. But he managed to control his urge to cut; just like he had been taught to hide any other emotions behind the mask that was Draco Malfoy. Lucius had never allowed Malfoy to show his feelings- he forbade him to feel. When he beat him, if Draco so much as winced, his father would increase the pain double, triple. Very quickly Malfoy learned that the less he showed- the less pain he felt. So he wore the mask his father forced him to hide behind; the only thing he did show was his anger, his hate, his power. It made people fear him, and if they fear you, they don't question you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ginny sat in her bedroom, crying silently into her pillow- this had become a daily tradition for her; why she wasn't exactly sure. But she was lonely; she knew that being a teenager without any close friends was hard, she often saw other girls her age laughing and gossiping, talking about what they were going to wear on their dates the next evening. She never had that, Ginny couldn't even remember the last time she had laughed. She got up from her bed and walked over to her mirror. What she saw scared her; she was skin and bones- her eyes were swollen and blood shot, with dark circles below them. Underneath her robes she was wearing a green tank top, and she could see the scars and red scabs from her cuts littering her arms. She had been cutting more frequently that week, almost everyday; usually with Draco's knife. His was easier to cut with, and drew more blood. Seeing her bright red blood running down her arms was the best part for Ginny; it gave her a rush, made her feel good. But she still hated the way she looked; her golden red hair fell straight down her back and she felt that her bright green eyes were to big and far apart; but she hated her freckles worst of all, large and splattered across her now, Ginny thought them extremely ugly. She never had a high self-esteem, and she guessed that since over the years of not having many friends and not being paid attention to by her family, she just felt kind of worthless. She supposed that since she was the only girl, and the youngest, she just got tossed aside, her parents paid more attention to the boys and didn't really know how to treat a girl. Ginny didn't really expect much; that was how she was treated all her life. But then when she had started Hogwarts and was still ignored, she began to think something was wrong with her. She hated herself for being a Weasley, not that she hated her family, but she was always shadowed by her older brothers. Charlie and Bill were the oldest and the coolest, everybody liked them; Percy was the smartest, and their parent's favorites; Fred and George were the funny guys, the comedians; and Ron was the fearless sidekick to the famous Harry Potter. What was left for her? So Ginny didn't draw attention to herself that much, if they didn't know her, then they wouldn't expect anything special from her. But she wanted to be special, she needed something of her own, something to identify herself with. But still searching for that; she had to resort to something else in the meantime.   

Over the years of being ignored, Ginny began to become more and more depressed, keeping her emotions closed up inside with no one to tell wasn't the healthiest thing to do. But she couldn't help it if no one liked her; she thought that since even her family ignored her, that the problem was with her, not other people. She hated being lonely; but she was to afraid to approach anyone- she had tried that before and they just ran away from her. So, now she felt as though her knife was her only friend, she was the only thing she could depend on. She hadn't intended for it to be that way when she had first started cutting. But it was becoming a habit, as though she was drawn to the blade. She found familiarity in the pain it brought to her, it was the only consistent, sure thing in her life.

 So now she sat there, looking down at the two knives in her hand. Like it's owner, Draco's knife was dark and cold, the red eyes of the dragon stared emptily out into space; but Ginny's knife was her opposite. While it was light and colorful, the sprite's eyes laughing; Ginny felt dark and sad. She felt that Draco's knife fit her personality more. It had been a week since she found it, and she thought that he would have done something by now. This worried her some but she tried not to let it get to her. On a lighter note, she had gotten some books from the library on guitars, and had been going to the room almost every day that week. Ginny was a natural, she had already mastered a lot of chords and tried playing out a few melodies too. She loved playing the guitar, she could make it sound like any emotion she wanted it to. There were different pedals, she learned, that went along with the electric guitar that gave it different sounds, and there were things called picks that you strum with, that gave the notes a louder, clearer sound. After she had gone through the slight pain of building up the calluses on her fingers she stayed in the room until late at night, playing for hours. Friday night after she had come back from playing she was in such a good mood that she didn't feel the need to cut; that was the first night that week. But unfortunately for her, her elated mood wouldn't last for long.

The next morning came clear and warm with a slight breeze, the perfect weather for a quidditch match. Ginny made her way to the Great Hall feeling happier than she had in weeks. She even laughed when she saw Harry's face of disgust as he was watching Hermione and Ron baby talking to each other. 

"Knock it off you two, that's repulsive, and it would do me well not to empty my stomach before this match." said Harry in repulsion. The two glared at him in good humor but stopped. 

"So, how do you think we'll do Captain Harry?" asked Ron, mockingly. Gryffindor was, by far the best team of the four. After Fred, George, Alicia, Katie, Angelina and Oliver had all left, it was up to Harry- the only person left on the team, to pick out new players. Dean Thomas, of their year was the new Keeper, and Lavender Brown; while a bit ditsy in school, was extremely talented on the field, and was one of the new beaters. Ron was the other. The other three players, the Chasers, were younger; Orion, was a tall, somewhat pale boy with black-hair, which was usually worn in tall spikes, in Ginny's year who tended to get in trouble more than what was good for him; he already had McGonagall threaten to throw him off the team once this year. He managed to charm his way out of most of his punishments though, he took after Fred and George. Olesia, and Kiera the other two Chasers were both in 5th year.  

"I dunno," said Harry, " Ravenclaw has a new seeker- Christian's been pretty sick for the last couple of weeks and they needed to call in a new one. She's only had a couple of weeks to practice- her name's Jade I think- but I've seen her on the field practicing and she's pretty good. I still think we have the upper hand though. I think this is one of the best teams Gryffindor's ever seen."

"YEAH!" shouted Orion, hearing the last part of Harry and Ron's conversation. He started banging his fists on the table, starting everyone else in their cheer. GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! getting faster until it was just one big loud commotion. Ginny had had somewhat of a crush on Orion, and it was times like this, when his true immaturity showed through, that she wondered- why? 

After breakfast the students all headed out to the Quidditch pitch to watch the game. Ginny sat with Hermione and they cheered together as Gryffindor scored goal after goal, finally resulting in Harry catching the snitch, and winning the game (go figure). Ginny had been having such a good time that she didn't notice that Draco wasn't there, giving her the cold stares that had become habit for him. No, Malfoy was off, doing other devious things…

~*~*~

Malfoy had been in his room for the last part of breakfast, and had been running over the steps of his plan. Hoping that his invisibility charm would hold up, he headed towards the Gryffindor common room. He knew where it was because he had followed a couple first years to it the other day. As he walked up a flight of stairs he was startled when he noticed someone was walking beside him. He almost threw out an insult when he realized that he was invisible. He noticed it was a Gryffindor, and followed him quietly to the portrait of the Fat Lady. It was a good thing to, because as the boy said the password (Marvilous pigs in satin) he noticed that it was different from the one he had heard the other day. Quickly, he followed the boy into the common room and walked towards the stairs. He stopped when he came to the small hallway that lead to the prefects rooms and slapped himself mentally. _I am truly an idiot! Yes well it would have been hunky dory to just walk into the common and strut my way right into her room, assuming of course that there WASN'T A PASSWORD on her door. Stupid. Stupid_. Trying to think of a password to get into Ginny's room was difficult- what would it be? Throwing his hands up in frustration after trying everything he could think of, Draco tried her name. _Huh! Go figure, it worked! _

The large painting of an earth fairy moved out of the way and Draco walked into Ginny's room. He noticed that it was very similar to his (yes he's a prefect! he maybe mean but that doesn't mean he's stupid) only in different tones, hers had a warmer, more welcoming feeling, with a four poster bed and a fire burning in a small fireplace in the corner. He walked over to her desk and pulled open the drawers, in search of her drawing book. Not finding it there, he looked under her mattress and in her bureau- it wasn't in either of those things though. Finally he knelt down at the end of her bed at her chest and opened it. Rooting through some books and clothes he found what he was looking for. Putting a spell on the room to make it look as though it had before he had entered it, he left. But in place of Ginny's book he left a small note. 

~*~*~

Ginny walked back to the common room with Hermione in good spirits; after the game, the two girls met up with the team and in congratulating them, Orion had given Ginny a hug. Pulling away nervously he grinned sheepishly at Ginny and ran off quickly. Walking to her room, almost dancing- Ginny went to get her journal out of her trunk when she realized that it wasn't there. Panicking, she rooted through her whole trunk and found only a note lying at the bottom of the chest. She took it out and saw that it was written in green ink- her mind instantly went to Malfoy. Her panic turned into anger as she read the note. It said_:        Meet me in the dungeon three down from the Potions class at ten tonight. Bring whatever you feel might be necessary.  D.M._.  She knew that he meant the knife Crumbling the note up, she threw it into the fire.  

Ginny waited anxiously for that night to come. She paced around her room so many times that eventually she gave herself a headache. She was nervous about confronting Malfoy this time- he had something that meant more than anything in the world to her. Her journal. Even though Ginny had it for only a little more than a year, she also kept all of her old poems songs and pictures in it as well as her new stuff. She sat down on her bed and debated about what to do; if she didn't go, she wouldn't have to face Malfoy, but she then realized that that would probably be worse and result in some ugly public display of Malfoy's idiocy. And she would still be minus her journal. With that thought, she realized that Malfoy probably saw what was in her journal…Her heart sunk at the thought of what Malfoy could do with her journal- it was the most personal thing she owned. Her poems were often dark reflections of her soul, and Ginny worried about what Draco might say to people about her. So she resolved, with determination and ever-growing hate for Malfoy, that she would meet with him that evening. 

As Ginny had presumed, Draco was reading through her journal, but his reaction was not what Ginny had thought it would be. He was confused- how could this happy little girl write such dark things? Could she really feel this way inside? He felt as though she had written all of her poems and songs, about his own feelings; they described his loneliness- it was though Ginny had written from his heart. Did she really feel this way too? But he couldn't help but feel as though he had just uncovered everything personal about Ginny- no one should have read this without her permission. He felt weird, almost ashamed, Draco had never felt ashamed before, and now he tried to put it to the back of his head. _She shouldn't have taken my knife in the first place! Darn that little Weasley! How dare she think that she can just come into my life- insult me, and then take my knife as though she has every right to!_ Thinking about Ginny always made him angry, and now he couldn't wait for that evening to get his knife back… but he still couldn't shake that guilty feeling from his head. 

It was almost time to go, and Ginny was beginning to get a little nervous…but not wanting to chicken out, she headed out a few minutes early. As she turned the corner after she left the common room, she almost ran into Orion. 

"Oh, sorry, I-" she started.

"Hey Gin! Do you mind if I call you that? So, where are you going? It's almost "bed time"!"

"Oh, I was just going to take a book back to the library- it was due today and I almost forgot," she replied.

"Ah, yes, and we wouldn't want Madame Pince to get mad!" he said shuddering at the thought, "Alright, well, uh, I guess I'll see you around!"

"Yeah, okay! See ya later Orion!," said Ginny hurriedly, while walking off. Now she had to hurry not to be late. 

"Later, Gin!"

Wow, she thought, he called me Gin… In her stated of happiness, Ginny almost forgot where she was going, but when she remembered, her anger came flooding back into her. She gripped Malfoy's knife through her pocket, and felt hers beside it. She wasn't sure why she brought it, but she did. Finding the dungeon that Malfoy had indicated, she walked into the dank room, and sat by the small fire that failed to give off any heat. Just as she was beginning to think that Malfoy was a no show, he stepped out of the shadows. 

"So, you showed, Ginger." Drawled Malfoy lazily. Ginny looked to see if he had brought her journal, but didn't see it in his hands. 

"Yeah, so?"

"I believe you have something of mine," he stated coldly glaring at her out of his cold gray eyes.

"As do you." she replied, just as icily.

"I assure you, Weasel, that it would do you well to give me back my knife, after all, I'm sure you wouldn't want this journal to fall into the wrong hands, now would you?"

Ginny laughed shortly, "If I am correct, I believe it already has," but then she thought of what the consequences could be if she messed with Malfoy. "Did you read it Malfoy?"

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. That's irrelevant. What matters is are you going to give me my knife or will I have to make you the hard way?"  With that he took her journal out from the depths of his robes and dangled it precariously in front of the fire. Ginny's eyes flashed and Malfoy smirked at the look of fear that had passed across her face. 

"You wouldn't Malfoy!" said Ginny, trying to keep her cool.

"Wouldn't I? Why don't you give me my knife, before you have to find out." 

"Fine, take your freakin' knife, Malfoy!" she practically yelled, throwing it at him. "But, you know, this is no way to live a life, going around, insulting people, blackmailing them to get whatever you want. If you continue to live like this, you are going to be one extremely hated person Malfoy."

"Oh, but I already am, _Ginger_." And with that he threw the journal into the fire, turned on his heel, and left with his knife. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" screamed Ginny. She ran over to the fire, but her common sense kept her from reaching into it to retrieve her journal. She sat and watched her journal burn, tears streaming from her face. All of her poems, all of her songs, all of her pictures, were now ashes in front of her face. She got up, in somewhat of a state of shock at Malfoy's cruelty, and left the room. Little did she know, Malfoy was right behind her- he had been hiding behind a suit of armor. But Ginny didn't go back to her room, instead she went outside to the lake.

 It was full moon, the bright orb reflected brightly against the water as Ginny sat down on the shore. She felt so hurt, so empty; all of her most personal revelations and thoughts that she had poured out into that journal were gone. How could Malfoy be so uncaring? She asked herself. Her tears fell silently down her face, as she took out her knife. She didn't know why, but whenever she cut, she felt her pain go away. So she pulled up her sleeve and started methodically running the knife down her arm. After about five cuts she stopped and watched the blood pour from her broken skin. She already felt better. But just then…

"What are you doing?!" asked Malfoy, stepping out from behind a tree. Startling Ginny, she quickly tried to hide the cuts and slid her knife under a rock. Malfoy laughed at this. 

"It's too late Ginny, I saw you." But it wasn't the usual cold mocking tone that he spoke in, it was something different; kind of like understanding…

"Well, are you satisfied? Now you just have more tragic stories to tell about poor, pathetic Weasley. Why do care what I do anyway? I would think that watching one of your worst enemies mutilating themselves would give you extreme pleasure." She spat out.

"Well normally it would… but I know how you feel." With that statement, he knelt down beside her and pulled up his sleeve. She recoiled at his proximity and from what she saw. The scars were innumerable; some of them were shorter, only an inch or two, but the bigger ones were actual designs. Crisscrossing spirals down his arms, and swirls along his shoulders. They looked more recent, as though they had just faded into scars. Reaching out, she wanted to touch them, somehow looking at the wounds on another person wasn't the same as it was looking at your own. She felt pain for him, and was about to ask him about his cuts, when she remembered who she was looking at. _That idiot just threw away my whole life story, almost everything that actually mattered to me is now keeping some rat warm in a dungeon. _She gave him a look of deep disgust.

"Great, well thanks for showing me, but I don't believe that what I do to myself is any of your business. So now, if you don't mind, I'm going back up to my room. And I will trust that now since I know this about you, you will keep your mouth shut about me."

Malfoy put his sleeve back down and stood up, a mask of confusion, anger and understanding clouding his face. Crossing his arms, he nodded at Ginny's command and stood there watching her walk slowly back up to the castle. He was slightly mad at her for rejecting him; but then he reasoned that she had good cause to be. Her tears were filled with so much pain, and it hurt him to watch her cut herself. He was so confused; he hadn't felt compassion in years; and if he did, it was only for himself. He felt the way Ginny did when he saw her arm. Seeing someone else hurt themselves was harder than to do it to yourself. Draco wasn't sure why he cared about her, but he did. He wanted to know why she did that to herself, why she was so much like him. He hadn't wanted to get into this kind of mess, but he realized that he couldn't go back now. _What did I get myself into?_

~*~*~

Ginny had been out for about an hour, so it was almost eleven when she entered the Common Room. As she expected it was empty, well almost…

"Hey Gin! Fancy meeting you here!" said Orion, jumping up from his chair, "I made the mistake of drinking waaay too much cappuccino earlier, and I knew that it would be pointless to even try to go to sleep, so I came down here to play my guitar a bit! So, your just getting back from the library? Got lost, huh?" 

Ginny knew that he knew that's not where she really was, but she was grateful that he didn't ask her the truth. 

"Um, Yeah- moving staircases, you know how they are…" she laughed slightly nervously, "so, you play guitar?"

"Yeah," Orion replied, walking back to the chair, and picking up his guitar, "I know it's more of a Muggle trend, but my Uncle's a Muggle and he gave it to me a couple of years ago. Besides, it's one of the few things that I can do fairly well, that and Quidditch." He grinned at Ginny as she walked over to observe his guitar. It was metallic black around the outside and bright neon blue in the middle, the words Mach V on the side of it. It was a Dean guitar. 

"Wow, do you think you could play something for me?" Ginny asked tentatively. 

"Um, uh, yeah, sure I guess…" he stuttered nervously. But Orion regained his composure when he started playing. Ginny closed her eyes, listening to the magically amplified chords echo throughout the empty common room; it was a sad sounding song, slow but rich. He was amazing, and Ginny was even more surprised as she heard him start to sing to his somewhat melancholy tune. His voice was the most moving things Ginny had ever heard, it was deep, and he sounded as though he was putting his whole soul into the words that he sang. Ginny was stunned at how such a mischievous, comedian, had such a serious, enchanting voice. When he stopped playing Ginny opened her eyes to see his bright electric blue eyes staring deeply into her green ones; but then he looked away nervously, grinning shyly. 

"That was amazing Orion. Wow, I only wish that I could play as well as you.."

"You play too??" asked Orion. Now it was Ginny's turn to grin shyly.

"A little bit, but I'm nowhere near as talented as you are!"

"Maybe you could play something for me sometime?"

"Yeah, maybe... Well, it is kinda late…I should probably go to bed now…" said Ginny, not wanting to leave.

"Alright, I'll see ya tomorrow Gin. Don't forget, we're working with the Scoobers in Care of Magical Creatures!"

"Okay! Thanks for letting me hear you play, Orion, you really put me in a better mood! Good night!

"Night Gin!"

And with that, Ginny walked up to her room and fell onto her bed. She was so exhausted, physically and emotionally. Draco had left her feeling mad and depressed, while Orion had lifted her spirits; she wasn't sure what to feel. She was happier now, but she still felt an emptiness from losing her journal. Tossing and turning, Ginny fell into a restless sleep. 

~*~*~

Draco stood under the moonlight contemplating what had happened earlier. He didn't know what to think. Ginny cut herself, and now she new that he did too. He didn't think Ginny would tell, but what reason did she have not to? He had destroyed something that meant a lot to her, or so she thought, and she would probably want revenge. So is this the way it would be? Just one big revolution of one person pulling a prank or throwing an insult, and the other getting revenge; Malfoy thought he would go crazy if this continued on for the rest of the year. But now, he felt that revealing himself to her had changed that. He wasn't sure of how Ginny would act towards him now, and he wasn't all too sure of how he would act around her. Yawning, he decided that he might be able to think better after a nights sleep. He walked back up to castle and to his room, and dropping onto his bed he fell into a deep sleep.


	3. some more

Disclaimer: some things are mine, others are not…

A/N: okay, yeah I know that last chapter was pretty short, but I didn't feel like putting more in. So, I'm sure this one will be longer! Happy reading! Oh, and any songs/poems, unless otherwise specified, are mine.

            The next morning- Sunday morning- Ginny woke early, which had become habit for her. She put on a pair of jeans and a blue sweater and was just about to grab her cloak to go to the lake when she remembered that she didn't have her journal anymore. Choking back a small sob, she decided instead to go to the guitar room. She grabbed her folder that she kept her guitar tabs and chords in and headed out. About ten minutes later she arrived and sat down to play. She was feeling kind of down and the words just strung together as they flowed from her mouth.

I wish I knew why things have to be this way

But they just do

Sometimes things just don't work out 

Like we want them to

They always say let nature take its course

But what do they know anyway?

Maybe its just one of those days

Where things just don't go right

So maybe we should sit back, and wait

Don't struggle don't fight

Let everything wash by 

Cause its just one of those days

Bad day you say? Things happen

What are you goanna do about it?

Maybe that's how its supposed to go

So you missed this one hit

They say everything happens for a reason

But who are they anyway?

Maybe its just one of those days

Where things just don't go right

So maybe we should sit back, and wait

Don't struggle don't fight

Let everything wash by 

Cause its just one of those days

Just one of those days 

Its just one of those days

Let everything wash by

Cause its just one of those days

            As the last note rang throughout the room Ginny gave a start at a noise behind her…

            "That was absolutely beautiful Virginia," spoke the kind voice of Dumbledore. Ginny gave a small scream and turned around to see the Headmaster standing in the doorway, his blue eyes twinkling.

            "Oh, I, uh, thanks…am I in trouble?" Ginny managed to get out before turning a bright hue of red.

            "No, no my child," Dumbledore let out a small chuckle, " I have been watching you play now for the past couple of weeks. You are quite the natural, you have learned extremely quickly, and I would like you to take that guitar with you, so that you may continue to use your talent without the threat of Filch giving you detention."

            "Really Professor? Thank you so much, this means a lot to me, and I'm sorry for coming here without permission and I- thank you!" Ginny said.

            "Slow down Virginia, it's alright. Now be on your way, and I hope you continue to pursue your guitar playing!" 

            "Thank you!" said Ginny, running back to the Common Room with her guitar. She looked up at the clock above the fireplace to see that it was only 6:30 in the morning. _No wonder nobody else is up…_But again she was surprised by the tall black-haired one we call Orion…

            "Hey, Gin! We gotta stop meeting like this, I'm telling you, one day someone might catch us!!!" 

            "Morning Orion! Shouldn't you be asleep? What time did you go to bed last night?" asked a somewhat out of breath Ginny.

            "Oh, I've never been much of a sleeping in kind of person, I live on pure adrenaline! Hey is that your guitar? Pretty ultimate!"

            "Oh yeah, thanks!" Ginny replied, proudly showing him her new (well new to her) guitar.

            "Well, I'd love to hear you play something but, I gotta go down to the Great Hall- Harry wanted to have some extra practice thing start to prepare for our next match against Slytherin, and I am starving! You wanna join me?" Orion asked her, blushing slightly.

            "Uh, yeah sure! I'll be right back okay?" Ginny ran off to put her guitar in her room and then she and Orion set off for the Great Hall. By the time they got there and started eating the rest of the Quidditch team was beginning to show up- most of them messy-haired and groggy. Apparently, they weren't to happy about Harry's new practice time. 

            "Come on you guys! We have got to practice for the upcoming game- Slytherin is like us- all of their players left last year, and Malfoy is now the Captain…" Ginny heard Harry say Malfoy and she looked quickly over to where he usually sat at the Slytherin table; but to her relief, he hadn't arrived yet. In fact, after Orion had said goodbye to her, and the rest of the team left- Ginny didn't see Malfoy come to breakfast at all. Even though Ginny hated him, she wondered if something had happened to him. She hadn't really thought about what happened the night before and now she found the whole thing to be odd. She was mad at Draco for throwing her journal into the fire, but then she thought about what he saw and then what he showed her. He cut and now he knew that she did as well. Ginny never thought that she would ever have anything in common with Malfoy, but now it seemed as though there was more to Malfoy than she knew…or wanted to. Contemplating about what might drive Malfoy to cut, Ginny slowly walked back to her room. When she got there, she saw her guitar lying on her bed- and she picked it up; but resisting the urge to play it, she set it aside, magicking a stand for it. She had a four-foot essay to do for Potions and she had to translate a speech into five different languages for her Study of Modern World Culture class. Starting in on her homework she didn't realize that Malfoy was sitting in his room, thinking about her at that very moment.

            Malfoy had woken up that morning feeling good, that is, until recollection of the night before came flooding back to him. Then he felt confused, mad and guilty- that's what got him the most- the guilt. He had done tons of mean and evil things to people in his life- and he had never felt guilt before, so why did this time have to be different? _Why is Ginny so different from all the other little freaks that I torture on a daily basis? _This question had been frustrating him for the past couple of weeks; she countered all of his insults, threw curses at him, which none other than Harry Potter and his sidekick Weasel dared to do, and she practically shot him down every time that he tried to approach her! Why was she different? He now knew; it was because she was like him. This thought scared him though, and he didn't do scared. Nor did he do guilt; but that's exactly what he felt when he heard the anguish in her scream and the look of loss on her face when she had come out of that dungeon the previous night. Malfoy hated feeling as though he owed anybody anything, expecially an apology, but in this case, he felt that unless he did something, Ginny and him would continue to fued like this for the rest of the year. Not that it really bothered him, but for some reason, now that he knew that she cut, and had read what she wrote, he felt as though she didn't need anymore pain in her life. So, he took out a piece of paper and started writing. When he was finished with his letter he folded it and went up to the owlery. Upon arriving he found his owl Inari, tied the letter to her foot, and sent her off with a hoot. 

~*~*~

            Ginny had almost fallen asleep on her homework when she had heard a loud rapping noise on her window. She turned around to see a large black, grey and white owl, with big red eyes. She walked to the window and let the bird in; taking the note off of her foot she gave her some water and let her back out. Walking over to her bed, she sat down and opened the letter. The letter was short and the familiar green writing read:  

Virginia- meet me by the lake at ten tonight. D.M.

_And here we go again_… But Ginny found it odd how he actually called her by her name, her whole first name. She decided to go, he sounded serious, and she didn't want to make him mad again. She hated feeling as though he had more power than her, she felt helpless, but then she realized that's how it had always been. She had always been the weaker one, against anyone, against everyone. Pretty soon she had herself looking pretty glum, but instead of going to other things to relieve her pain, she picked up her guitar. She played for hours, even through dinner and only stopped when she realized that it was about a half an hour before she had to go. She felt so relaxed, and comfortable when she was playing that she didn't even realize that her stomach had been growling like mad. So she snuck down to the kitchens and bummed some food off of the elves before heading out to the lake. 

As she rounded on the lake, Ginny saw Draco standing, lit by the moon, with his robes rippled by the wind. He looked…different, almost frightening. This thought made a small chill run down Ginny's side, but she quickly pushed it aside as she stepped up beside him. He turned to face her and instead of the cold icy stare he usually looked at her with, tonight it was replaced with an empty, confused, torn look. He held something out to her and she looked down to see that it was her journal, and on top of it; her knife. She felt tears come to her eyes and she looked down, not wanting Malfoy to see. She heard him quietly say "sorry" and she looked up at him. Now he looked away, feeling uncomfortable looking at the tears in her eyes, but then looked back into their deep green depths. 

"Why?" he asked softly, "Why do you cut yourself?"

"I could ask you the same…" but it wasn't the usual cold voice that she used around him, it was more of a curious tone, "did you read my journal Draco?" He looked up when she used his real name, and nodded slightly.

"Then you should know. All the stuff I write about in this," she said, motioning to her journal, "all the feelings and emotions that I pour into these poems; they are what I feel, they are what I am Draco. That's why I cut."  Then she turned around and walked back up to the castle. When she was a couple of feet away she turned around, and Draco could see the tears running freely down her face. 

"Thank you." she said.

**~*~*~**

Draco had been left standing by the lake feeling emotionally drained. He didn't know what to think anymore; Ginny had brought out feelings in him that he was never allowed to recognize before, he had always pushed them to the back of his mind. But he had to address them now, and he wasn't sure how; the confusion, loneliness, misery, all the things that he had seen in Ginny's eyes were just a reflection of himself. He had never had to deal with these kind of emotions before, and he was right in thinking that it only resulted in pain. But this wasn't the physical pain that he was used to feeling, and the empty overwhelming pain that he now felt was becoming to much for him. But then he remembered that he had his knife back, and went to the only way he knew how to deal with the pain. He cut himself.

~*~*~

            Ginny slowly walked up to the castle, and to the common room, where tonight- it was completely empty. She was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted; the ordeal with Malfoy had left her drained and confused. She was unsure of what to think of him; he had hurt her so much over the past few weeks, and even though she would never admit it, the taunting, insults and glares had gotten to her. But then he had to turn around and be kind to her… she supposed that was Malfoy's way of being kind…and the way he talked to her earlier. No insulting, no sneering at her, he sounded almost defeated- as though he had given up; on what though, Ginny wasn't sure. He seemed so different that night, like human. He must have made an extra copy of her journal and thrown one of them in the fire… which meant that he had been planning to give it back to her before last night. But why? Why would he do something so…er…nice? He could have just thrown the journal into the fire and left without a care- that would have been the typical Malfoy way…but seeing as he didn't, that meant he did care… But why??? All of these questions and thoughts swirled around in Ginny's mind and she fell into a deep, but troubled sleep. 

~*~*~

            The next morning Ginny woke up, got dressed in her school robes, grabbed her bag and went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. She sat next to Orion and they compared the homework they had for their Study of Modern World Culture class; she hadn't realized it before, but he was in all of her classes except Transfigurations and Potions. He was taking the same advanced classes as her though, which she found good because she had someone to compare notes with. She found it odd though, how smart he was, and yet how he always got into trouble…well, she guessed some people just have it all like that. She looked over to the Slytherin table and saw Draco looking at her with the same look as the night before. She looked away, but knew that he had not, she could feel his eyes on her. 

            "I'm sorry, Orion, I, uh forgot a book in my room and I have to go get it" Ginny said hurriedly, getting up from the table. She had to get away from Malfoy's penetrating gaze, but she hadn't realized that after she left the hall, Malfoy got up and followed her. 

            "Hey!" He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

            "Malfoy! Let go of me! What do you want??" she asked extremely irritated and somewhat startled my Malfoy's sudden harsh actions. This was the Malfoy from before.

            "I want to know why. What do you have to be so depressed about? What can be so horrible in your life that you feel the need to take it out on yourself?" he asked in a hushed, but urgent tone, making sure no one was around that could hear them. Ginny could tell that this had been bothering him…

            "Look Malfoy, I don't know why you care about what I do to myself, why does it matter to you anyway?"

            He gave a sigh of exasperation and she saw his shoulders drop in defeat.

"I, I don't know…because… because when I read your journal, I felt as though all those things you wrote about, were about me…" he trailed off. Ginny looked up at him and saw that he looked uncomfortable, he wasn't used to talking about his feelings, and it felt odd for him.

            "Alright, um, I don't have time to talk now, but if you meet me tonight, same place, same time as last night, then we can talk." Then she turned around and walked away, just as all the other students started to pour out of the Great Hall, and Malfoy just stood there looking after her. 

            _What did I just do?_ He thought to himself. He didn't know what had compelled him to follow her out of the Great Hall, or what made him ask Why? Now he had to go, it would be pointless not to; but once she told him her story, she would probably expect him to tell her his. _Great Malfoy, just great._

            So Ginny and Malfoy went about their days, not seeing each other again save for lunch and supper, and both having their planned meeting hovering in their minds throughout the day. Ginny had just finished her homework before she had realized that it was time to leave. She got up and went down to the seemingly empty common room, and out to the lake. 

What she hadn't realized was that Orion was sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire. He had seen her leave all three nights, and he was kind of curious to know where she went every night. The second night he wasn't in the common room, but had been looking out the window when he saw her walk out to the lake. He wasn't going to follow her, but decided on waiting until she came back, and then he would casually ask her where she had been. He knew it really wasn't any of his business, but they had fast become friends; neither of them had had really close friends before, and he was slightly concerned about her. He also had sort of a crush on her, so the jealousy factor might have played in some…

Ginny was the first one out to the lake tonight, and she sat down on the shore while she waited for Malfoy. After about five minutes passed and she had to begin to think that he wasn't coming; Malfoy sat down beside her.

"Hey." he said without looking at her. 

"Hey." was her response. She didn't really know what else to say…a somewhat awkward silence passed before she spoke again.

"So uh…" she started but at the same time Draco spoke as well.

"Hey, look…what I said earlier today," he started, sounding uncomfortable, "you really don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I guess I kind of got a little out of control…"

"No, that's okay, I'm still going to tell you, I feel like I have to. Normally, seeing as it's you, I wouldn't, but since you've read my journal, I feel like you're the only one who'll understand."

Oh great, this better not be some kind of sob story, he thought to himself, but his inner comment quickly vanished as he heard the earnestness in her voice.

"It's not some long dramatic traumatizing life story, so if you get bored or something just tell me to shut up. It's just that all throughout my life, I've been ignored you know? Like with my family- I'm the youngest, and the only girl, and with six boys running around the house, I guess my parents just never had time for me…I don't blame them. So, I just kind of lived for myself, I do what I have to do to get through the day. I've never really had any close friends…sure Harry and Hermione are around (at this Draco gave a small snort) but they're to busy always off trying to save the world. They have each other anyway. And I've always felt that I've never really had anything in common with other students in my year, or my classes. Besides, if I tried to make friends with any of them, most of them just ran off in fear or called me a freak. I assume you know why? (he nodded, still not looking at her) Ever since that whole incident with Voldemort, I've had trouble making any friends, and the few I had sort of drifted away from me. So for the past couple of years, I've been a loner, I guess. But sometimes it get to me, you know? I just feel so lonely, so empty…Then one day, the day you saw me in Hogsmeade, I had bought my knife. I hadn't had a real purpose for it, but a few days later, the day that Snape yelled at me and took like 100 some points; I had already been having a bad day, and then after I left Potions it didn't improve much, I wound up in some "forbidden hallway" and Filch gave me a detention for it… Things just kind of built up, nothing really dramatic happened, but I kind of just broke the last string. The first time I cut myself, it was accidentally- I had lain the knife on my bed and when I laid down, it cut my arm. I jumped up from the pain at first, but then I thought that it felt good. So I cut myself on purpose. The first time was probably the most I've ever cut myself. I made probably twenty or so cuts. I didn't really want it to become habit or anything, but after not cutting for a few days, I felt like I needed it. I was drawn to the pain- both the pain that it gave me, and the pain that it relieved. It's like a release for me. So now, it's just what I do when I feel really down… I get a rush when I cut, Draco. It makes me feel alive- and that's more than I can say for the rest of my life." She gave a hollow laugh.

"So, is that what you wanted? Did I answer all your questions?" she asked this with only slight contempt though, disgusted more with herself than Malfoy's curiosity.

"Yeah, I guess you did. And I guess now that you spilled out your story to me, you want the same in return." He stated, more a question than anything. He really hoped that she wouldn't ask to, and was relieved when she didn't ask to.

"Hey, that's ok, besides I have to go now. I just remembered that I forgot some homework for my Charms class. Maybe some other time though Malfoy. I'm sorry for boring you, I know my explanation wasn't the grand thing you probably thought it would be… see you later."

"Yeah, okay, Bye." He watched her walk back up to the castle, only this time he understood her sorrow, and what she wrote about. He took out another copy of her journal, one that he had made for himself, and read over some of her poems. Then he got up, went back to his room, and fell into a deep sleep. 

Ginny walked back into the common room, she had been out almost an hour again… and all she wanted to do was go to sleep. But she really did have charms homework to do. She walked towards the stairway, but was stopped by a sleepy looking Orion.

"Hey Gin! So, I know that I don't really know you that well and all but, I have seen you leave for the past three nights now, and I was just wondering if everything was okay, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I was just kind of concerned and all and…yeah, I'll shut up now." He said all of this in one breath

"Um, okay" she wasn't really sure what to say to him, but she decided to tell him a slight variation of the truth. "I've been having a hard time sleeping lately, and so I've just been going out to the lake to take walks… it helps me to calm my nerves…" she hoped this worked.

            Orion could tell that she wasn't telling him the whole truth, and he was kind of upset. But he decided that it really wasn't his place to question Ginny about her whereabouts, and went with what she said.

            "Oh, okay then, I just wanted to make sure you were okay! Well, it is kinda late, and you probably want to go to bed now, so I guess I'll see you in the morning! Good night Gin!" He leapt up the stairs, leaving Ginny somewhat startled and confused. She shrugged it off though, and went up to her room and to sleep.

The next few days passed without incidence, but Ginny noticed in Potions and Transfigurations, that Draco seemed to be acting different towards her. While not exactly going out of his way to be nice; he also wasn't going out of his way to be the cruel insulting person that he usually was. She wasn't about to say anything to him though, she'd take that Malfoy any day over his other self. 

            For Malfoy, he now understood Ginny, but it made him feel weird that she had told him her story. He wasn't really sure how to react, but he felt like he owed her something in return. He was so confused; all of this didn't fit in with his way of thinking. He never had to address these kinds of thoughts before. He felt for Ginny, not sympathy, but more of an understanding, and a familiarity; he also felt as though he owed her something. And now he wasn't all to sure how to act around her. _Damn it Malfoy! Why did you have to go and get involved with that stupid girl! She's ruining me! Why did I have to take that stupid journal. Why did we have to be similar? _This was beginning to drive him crazy. He had to talk to her again. He didn't want to, but he did; he was in an argument with himself over Ginny. He never thought he would see the day! He didn't want Ginny to think anything, so he decided to wait awhile before meeting her again. 

            After a couple weeks had passed, the next Quidditch game was drawing near; it was to be a week away, the last week in November. Ginny hadn't talked to Malfoy outside of school since that night, and she thought that things might have started to settle down a bit. She and Orion hung out a lot together and they became close friends. They were probably the closest friends they had to each other. Sure Orion had lots of friends from his classes and the quidditch team; but that was just because he was the fun, funny guy, easy to hang around with. But no one really knew him, so he was glad that he had met Ginny. As for Ginny, she loved having Orion for a friend; he was her first really close friend; she told him a lot of things; minus the cutting bit, of course. She still did it, though not as much as she did before; usually one or two cuts quenched her need. Her music helped her a lot; and Orion did too, but sometimes she felt that those things just weren't enough; and that's when she went to her knife. 

            It was the Friday, the week before the quidditch match when it started going downhill for Ginny. She was walking to the library to take some books back, and when she was walking down the steps, they moved and she lost her balance and fell down them. She hit her head on the wall when she came to a stop and blacked out for a couple of seconds. When she came to, she saw Orion standing above her; his eyebrows knitted with worry. 

            "Gin! Are you okay??? I heard a loud noise when I was coming out of the library and I followed it and I turned the corner and I saw you lying on the ground. Are you okay?" Ginny thought he was so cute when he was worried; she nodded and he reached out to help her up when a look of horror came upon his face. Confused for a second, she looked to where he was looking; down at her arms. The sleeves of her robes fell back when she reached up to him and all of her cuts and scars were now in plain view.

            "Gin, what happened?? Did you…did you do that to yourself???" Tears formed in her eyes and before she could stop them from falling, they came in torrents. 

            "Oh, Merlin! What the heck did you do to yourself?! I can't believe this…you- you actually cut yourself?! That's repulsive Weasley!" She flinched as he said her name; she was no longer Gin to him, it was now Weasley. As though she was just some generic brand of person. She hated it when people called her by her last name. She stood up without his help and glared at him.

            "NO! You're repulsive, you don't even know me Orion!. You don't know what its like to be me! Do you have any idea at all, what it's like to be ignored, and shunned for your whole life? Yeah, I didn't think so; well, you know, I didn't expect you too! You've always had friends Orion, so just go; because I'm only one of the hundreds you have to choose from. You don't need me anyway, no one does. That's right; go ahead, I'm used to it- go and tell everyone, they already think I'm some kind of freak incapable of feeling any emotion. JUST GO!"  Then she ran off, leaving him standing there open mouthed in shock.

            Ginny ran. She didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care. She didn't care about anything at that moment. Orion knew about her cutting, the one thing that she had meant to keep from him forever. Just over the past couple of weeks they had become really close, or so she thought. She thought that he actually cared about her, but that incident showed her that he didn't care. He was just some other popular kid that could pick from any girl in the school that he wanted to, to hang out with. _Why me?_ she thought to herself, her feet taking her out of the castle_. I'm such an idiot!! I should have known… why would someone like Orion ever want to hang out with a freak like me?? I'm so freakin gullible, hah, it was probably some bet he made with his other friends…yeah let's see how long we can string along the freak, until we embarrass her in front of the whole school! How typical. Well, now he has what he wants- he knows. That one ought to entertain the masses for a while…_ Without realizing it, she had come to the lake, and now she sat down on the bank and took out her knife. If there was anytime that she felt that she needed it; it was now. Pulling up her sleeves she started recklessly slashing at her skin, cutting it haphazardly. She didn't care anymore; she had nothing; she had no friends. The only friend she thought she had turned out like the rest. Anytime they saw or heard something they didn't understand, they ran away or jumped to conclusions. They didn't even take the time to listen. 

            Orion stood rooted in the hallway, not fully realizing what he had just seen. _She cuts herself… _That was the only thing running through his brain at the moment. After about a minute or two, he shook himself, and remembered that Ginny wasn't standing in front of him anymore. _Damn it! I am such an ass! _He slapped himself mentally and ran off in the direction that he thought she might have gone. He ran back to the common room but found it empty of Ginny. He walked over to one of the windows, disgusted with himself, when he saw a small figure out by the lake. Ginny! He started to walk away to go to talk to her, when he saw another figure approaching her. He couldn't make out who specifically it was, but from the short hair that the figure had, he guessed it was a boy. Then he took off for the lake.

            "So, what happened?" Draco's voice startled Ginny and she almost dropped her knife. She went to quickly pull her sleeves down but then remembered that Draco already knew about her. But he still seemed surprised when he walked around to sit beside her. The ground was red from all of the blood that had stained her arms and fallen from them. The cuts were numerous, scattered across both arms and hands. He looked up at her face and saw the tears silently streaming from her bloodshot eyes. She didn't look up at him, but continued to cut. He then grabbed her by the wrists and shook the knife from her grasp. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but there was nowhere to grab where there wasn't wounds. She gasped in pain and looked up at him, the emptiness in her eyes chilling even him.

            "Tell me what happened." he said in a somewhat harsher tone than he meant to use. She wrenched away from him, the misery in her eyes flashing into anger.

            "I don't have to tell you anything Malfoy, haven't you gotten enough out of me already? What do you want from me??!! Can't you just leave me alone?"

            "Oh come of it, Weasley! Look at yourself! Look at what you're doing to yourself! No I can't leave you alone. Yeah, I know, I'm not any better than you, but look at what it's doing to you! What did you ever do to deserve such pain?" He couldn't believe that he was saying these things to her, where was this coming from. But he couldn't stop himself from saying what he felt.


	4. ooo, angsty isnt it?

Disclaimer: Plot and Orion; mine-but only in my imagination, and everything else is JK Rowlings'. yeah, Life sucks.

A/N: okay, writey time! Hope you like! oo, watch out though, slight profanity!  {:o0

            The next few days passed without incidence, but Ginny noticed in Potions and Transfigurations, that Draco seemed to be acting different towards her. While not exactly going out of his way to be nice; he also wasn't going out of his way to be the cruel insulting person that he usually was. She wasn't about to say anything to him though, she'd take that Malfoy any day over his other self. 

            For Malfoy, he now understood Ginny, but it made him feel weird that she had told him her story. He wasn't really sure how to react, but he felt like he owed her something in return. He was so confused; all of this didn't fit in with his way of thinking. He never had to address these kinds of thoughts before. He felt for Ginny, not sympathy, but more of an understanding, and a familiarity; he also felt as though he owed her something. And now he wasn't all to sure how to act around her. _Damn it Malfoy! Why did you have to go and get involved with that stupid girl! She's ruining me! Why did I have to take that stupid journal. Why did we have to be similar? _This was beginning to drive him crazy. He had to talk to her again. He didn't want to, but he did; he was in an argument with himself over Ginny. He never thought he would see the day! He didn't want Ginny to think anything, so he decided to wait awhile before meeting her again. 

            After a couple weeks had passed, the next Quidditch game was drawing near; it was to be a week away, the last week in November. Ginny hadn't talked to Malfoy outside of school since that night, and she thought that things might have started to settle down a bit. She and Orion hung out a lot together and they became close friends. They were probably the closest friends they had to each other. Sure Orion had lots of friends from his classes and the quidditch team; but that was just because he was the fun, funny guy, easy to hang around with. But no one really knew him, so he was glad that he had met Ginny. As for Ginny, she loved having Orion for a friend; he was her first really close friend; she told him a lot of things; minus the cutting bit, of course. She still did it, though not as much as she did before; usually one or two cuts quenched her need. Her music helped her a lot; and Orion did too, but sometimes she felt that those things just weren't enough; and that's when she went to her knife. 

            It was the Friday, the week before the quidditch match when it started going downhill for Ginny. She was walking to the library that evening to take some books back, and when she was walking down the steps, they moved and she lost her balance and fell down them. She hit her head on the wall when she came to a stop and blacked out for a couple of seconds. When she came to, she saw Orion standing above her; his eyebrows knitted with worry. 

            "Gin! Are you okay??? I heard a loud noise when I was coming out of the library and I followed it and I turned the corner and I saw you lying on the ground. Are you okay?" Ginny thought he was so cute when he was worried; she nodded and he reached out to help her up when a look of horror came upon his face. Confused for a second, she looked to where he was looking; down at her arms. The sleeves of her robes fell back when she reached up to him and all of her cuts and scars were now in plain view.

            "Gin, what happened?? Did you…did you do that to yourself???" Tears formed in her eyes and before she could stop them from falling, they came in torrents. 

            "Oh, Merlin! What the hell did you do to yourself?! I can't believe this…you- you actually cut yourself?! Shit; that's repulsive Weasley!" She flinched as he said her name; she was no longer Gin to him, it was now Weasley. As though she was just some generic brand of person. She hated it when people called her by her last name. She stood up without his help and glared at him.

            "NO! _You're_ repulsive, you don't even know me Orion!. You don't know what its like to be me! Do you have any idea at all, what it's like to be ignored, and shunned for your whole life? Yeah, I didn't think so; well, you know, I didn't expect you too! You've always had friends Orion, so just go; because I'm only one of the hundreds you have to choose from. You don't need me anyway, no one does. That's right; go ahead, I'm used to it- go and tell everyone, they already think I'm some kind of sick freak incapable of feeling any emotion. JUST GO!"  Then she ran off, leaving him standing there open mouthed in shock.

            Ginny ran. She didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care. She didn't care about anything at that moment. Orion knew about her cutting, the one thing that she had meant to keep from him forever. Just over the past couple of weeks they had become really close, or so she thought. She thought that he actually cared about her, but that incident showed her that he didn't care. He was just some other popular kid that could pick from any girl in the school that he wanted to, to hang out with. _Why me?_ she thought to herself, her feet taking her out of the castle_. I'm such an idiot!! I should have known… why would someone like Orion ever want to hang out with a freak like me?? I'm so freakin gullible, hah, it was probably some bet he made with his other friends…yeah let's see how long we can string along the freak, until we embarrass her in front of the whole school! How typical. Well, now he has what he wants- he knows. That one ought to entertain the masses for a while…_ Without realizing it, she had come to the lake, and now she sat down on the bank and took out her knife. If there was anytime that she felt that she needed it; it was now. Pulling up her sleeves she started recklessly slashing at her skin, cutting it haphazardly. She didn't care anymore; she had nothing; she had no friends. The only friend she thought she had turned out like the rest. Anytime they saw or heard something they didn't understand, they ran away or jumped to conclusions. They didn't even take the time to listen. 

            Orion stood rooted in the hallway, not fully realizing what he had just seen. _She cuts herself… _That was the only thing running through his brain at the moment. After about a minute or two, he shook himself, and remembered that Ginny wasn't standing in front of him anymore. _Damn it! I am such an ass! _He slapped himself mentally and ran off in the direction that he thought she might have gone. He ran back to the common room but found it empty of Ginny. He walked over to one of the windows, disgusted with himself, when he saw a small figure out by the lake. Ginny! He started to walk away to go to talk to her, when he saw another figure approaching her. He couldn't make out who specifically it was, but from the short hair that the figure had, he guessed it was a boy. Then he took off for the lake.

            "So, what happened?" Draco's voice startled Ginny and she almost dropped her knife. She went to quickly pull her sleeves down but then remembered that Draco already knew about her. But he still seemed surprised when he walked around to sit beside her. The ground was red from all of the blood that had stained her arms and fallen from them. The cuts were numerous, scattered across both arms and hands. He looked up at her face and saw the tears silently streaming from her bloodshot eyes. She didn't look up at him, but continued to cut. He then grabbed her by the wrists and shook the knife from her grasp. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but there was nowhere to grab where there wasn't wounds. She gasped in pain and looked up at him, the emptiness in her eyes chilling even him.

            "**_Tell me_** what happened." he said in a somewhat harsher tone than he meant to use. She wrenched away from him, the misery in her eyes flashing into anger.

            "I don't have to tell you anything Malfoy, haven't you gotten enough out of me already? What the hell do you want from me??!! Can't you just leave me alone?"

            "Oh come of it, Weasley! Look at yourself! Look at what you're _doing_ to yourself! No I can't leave you alone. Yeah, I know, I'm not any better than you, but look at what it's doing to you! What did you ever do to deserve such pain?" He couldn't believe that he was saying these things to her, where was this coming from?!? But he couldn't stop himself from saying what he felt. "I can't just sit here and watch you do this to yourself! Now give me the knife!"

            "No! Who are you to tell me what to do, and how I should feel? How do you know I don't deserve this? You can't judge me, only I know. You don't understand!"

            "You're wrong Weasley! I do know. All of my life, my father has been abusive to me, Do you understand? He beats me! Look if you don't believe me!" Draco was yelling now, pacing in front of her. He took off his shirt and turned around to that his back faced Ginny. She flinched as she saw the innumerable amount of welts, scars and bruises on his back, and she resisted the urge to reach out and touch them. As he turned back around the amount of tortured pain Ginny saw in Draco's eyes made the tears flow faster from her own. 

            "Do you see?! You aren't the only one that feels pain Weasley; every time I did something that displeased him- no matter how small it was, it deserved punishment. Just last year when he found out that I have no desire to take after him in the Dark Arts or become a Death Eater, the punishments increased. Now, not only did he beat me, but he used curses…his favorite being the Crucaitus Curse." He paused for a moment, realizing that he had just told this pathetic Gryffindor that his father was practicing forbidden curses on him. He didn't care though; he was disgusted with himself and his father. Ginny took his silence as an invitation to ask him:

            "Why didn't your mother do anything to stop him?" At this he gave a hollow bitter laugh and he looked at her with a resentment in his eyes, not for her, but for his own self.

            "My mother? She was experiencing the same torture as me, if anything hers was worse. He beat her nearly everyday regardless of what she said or did. She pleaded with him to stop…stop from beating me- she didn't care what happened to her. One night; it got so bad, that he just slammed her against a wall and beat her unconscious. She lay there for who knows how many hours until I found her the next morning. That was when I started to cut myself. I took it upon myself to inflict the pain, after all, we wouldn't want to waste father's time, now would we? Nobody noticed though- but I was grateful for that, he probably would have killed me if he knew what I did. For the longest time I thought that I deserved the pain; I still do. But I thought that what father said was true; that I was worthless, and that I would never amount to more than a disgrace to the Malfoy name. Now I strive to be that disgrace, but for a different reason. I never want to be like him. Never. I don't care what it takes, he will not break me."

            Ginny was shocked at this "slap in the face". She didn't really know what to say, so she said the first thing that came to mind.

            "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Draco laughed again, only this time it was a shrill, desperate laugh.

            "Don't you under_stand_?!? If he beat me for not walking fast enough, can you even imagine what he would do to me if I were to tell someone about it? He would figure out, he has his ways, father does. Besides, who would I tell? You? Well look I guess I have then, haven't I? Now what Weasley? Going to go run and tell Dumbledore? Then he'll confront my father and I'll be beaten more. But you know, hey. Like it's anything new to me." He stopped and looked at Ginny. For a moment she could see his ice crack, but then he froze back up again. He sat down beside her and took out his own knife and made a long cut down the inside of each arm. They both sat for a minute entranced by the flow of Draco's blood down his arm and onto the ground. Then Draco broke the silence with a snort of laughter.

            "It's pretty funny, you know? This is my only friend. Pretty pathetic once you think about it. The knife is the only thing I can go to when I feel this way. I don't even deserve this- this release." He threw the blade aside; and it landed next to Ginny's. The dark metal of Draco's knife glinted oddly beside Ginny's own bloodstained blade. She looked over at him and saw that he was looking intently back. His pale icy eyes searched her for some form of disgust or hate but to his surprise, he found none. Any trace of hate was either not there or masked by the pain and understanding swimming in her bright green eyes. He wanted to hate her, he really did- but for some reason he couldn't. He wanted her to understand, and he wanted her to know that she didn't deserve her own pain; because he knew that no matter how worthless he felt, even he didn't deserve the pain. No one did. He felt something odd, like a compassion for her…he was confused. He didn't want to like Ginny, he didn't want his wall to break. Showing his emotion would only increase weakness; but then he remembered that was what his father said and let his own emotion get the better of him.

 Draco looked down at Ginny's arms and saw that the blood was still flowing from some of her deeper cuts. His own weren't that deep and had stopped flowing, turning into bright red scabs. He took her hands in his, and she flinched at his touch. Draco looked up at her and saw an uncertainty in her eyes, and he tried to be as gentle as possible. He conjured up a bowl of water with a cloth in it and taking it out of the bowl, he wiped her arms clean of the blood. Ginny gasped slightly at the stinging, but let him continue to clean her wounds. He was slightly shocked at how many cuts there were on her arms, up and down the whole length of her arms. Some crisscrossing and running parallel to other cuts and scars. He looked up at her in concern, but she was looking down, avoiding his penetrating gaze and tears were silently streaming from her eyes. She didn't understand what Draco was doing, why would he help her. She was pathetic, not deserving of his compassion. She was so confused at why he was helping her. Was this Malfoy actually showing some emotion other than hate or spite? After the blood stopped coming he set the now red stained towel down, and saw that she was now looking at him. Something ached in him as he saw the emptiness and confusion of her gaze. 

            "I- I have to go now…" Ginny said detachedly, breaking her gaze with Draco, and slowly getting up. For some reason she felt dizzy and almost fell into Malfoy, who had also risen. He caught her awkwardly and asked her if she was okay.

            "Yeah, I uh, guess I'm just more tired than I thought, I'll be fine…" not looking up at Draco she knew he was watching her intently. Trying to keep her tears from coming again, she fought to regain her composure and walked back up to the castle. 

            Draco looked up to the castle and saw the doors open as Ginny walked into the castle; then the night turned dark again once the doors were closed. He turned back to the lake and looked into the placid surface until he was startled by someone stepping out of the trees. Spinning around, Malfoy glared at the confused figure that slowly approached him; he recognized him as a Gryffindor… _what was his name? Orion? Yes, that was it._

Orion stood with his arms over his chest…though not in an aggressive manner- he was more confused than anything.

            "So, Orion is it? Exactly how much of our little chat did you hear?" Malfoy spoke with a cold voice, but it was just the defensive front he always put on when he felt "threatened" or challenged.

            "Enough to know that you are both pathetic" Orion spat back at him. Inside Malfoy flinched but he didn't let it show how true he actually thought that was… in reference to himself anyway.

            "What would you know Orion, you don't live my life- or Ginny's. You don't know the pain she feels; you really hurt her tonight- that's why she does what she does, you know. People like you. She thought you cared about her, she trusted you, and then you turned on her. She was afraid you finding out, and her fears were confirmed when you found out. You treated her like some inhuman monster that you can just gawk and point at. Don't you see? If you were truly her friend then you would have realized that that was when she needed you the most. Ginny needed you to understand without questioning her; letting her tell you when she was ready. But I guess she was right Orion. To you, she's just some other disposable "friend" that you can toss aside whenever they start to annoy you or you get tired of them. Well, Ginny deserves better than that, maybe you'll realize that someday." Malfoy stared at Orion, who looked about as shocked as he felt about what he just said. _Where did that come from???_ _A _Malfoy_- actually defending someone??_ There's a new one for the world. But after saying that, Malfoy felt more confident… like he needed to get it out; it actually felt good to stand up for someone not himself. 

            Orion wasn't really sure what to say to that. Once he thought on it- every time he saw Ginny when she wasn't with him, she was always alone…or rarely with her "friends". And she always looked so… drained, like emotionally exhausted. It was as though she was just an empty shell of her real self, just going through the motions of life; waiting for something to come along that would end the pain. Was it all just an act she put on in front of me, just because she was afraid of how I would react if I knew what she really felt? _And I just scared her off, _**man**_ I'm such an asshole_. He realized that what most of Malfoy said, was true; except he really did care about Ginny…even though he still found her cutting to be repulsive. He was also confused about Ginny and Malfoy's "relationship" so he decided to try and see what else he could get out of him.

              
            "So what- you think you're this "better" something that Ginny deserves?" Orion replied in a mocking tone. Malfoy's eyes flashed in anger.

            "Yeah right. But I'm all she has right now- thanks to you. Did you see her?? Don't you see what she's doing to herself? And you- you're just pushing her farther into her disparity. Sooner or later she's going to hit rock bottom- if she hasn't already- and I'm not so sure she'll be strong enough to get back up. So what are you gonna do about it Orion?"

            "What?! Are you blaming this on me?? No way! That little freak was pathetic enough before she even met me…" _whoa Orion, where did that come from? _Malfoy's attitude was getting to Orion, and he spoke without thinking first. He hadn't meant to say that about Ginny, but he got what was coming to him anyway; as Malfoy lunged at him and punched him square in the jaw.

            "You stupid bastard! Where do get off saying that about her? I don't know how she ever became friends with you. I guess after a while, being that lonely and in need of a friend, one's disparity might distort their perception of reality. How she ended up with an ass like you is beyond me…"

            "Oh and what do think you are- some kind of knight in shining armor? Come to save poor little Ginny. Yeah well you're not much better than her- you're both sick- you probably got her started on that…" Orion was grasping at straws here- he was so angry with Malfoy, he was just throwing out words, hoping to make something sting him; but Malfoy knew that Orion was faltering, and tried to bring him back around to the point. 

            "Look, this isn't about you or me. This is about Ginny. Damn it Orion. Don't you _understand_?? That's why she cuts herself- because she wants attention, just not in the way you might think. Nobody paid attention to her before, ever. She tried to talk to people but they all just thought she was some kind of deranged freak, just like you. She hasn't had it easy you know. You just transferred here this year right? (Orion nodded, once more confused) Well I'm assuming you don't know Ginny's story then… Here why don't you go read about it, maybe then you'll understand…" Malfoy summoned up the part of Ginny's journal that recounted her second year at Hogwarts. He tossed it over to Orion. Scanning through the pages, Orion noticed that whatever Draco had given him was written by Ginny herself.

            "Where did you get this?" he questioned. 

            "That's none of your business, now get out of here before I take you out again." Orion snorted and walked off with the book. Well that went well, he thought to himself…

            Malfoy turned back toward the lake, and a light breeze rippled the black surface as the moon danced oddly on the water. He soon became entranced by the rhythmic ebb and flow of the lake and sat down on a rock by the shore. For some reason, even though he thought he said the right thing, Malfoy still felt defeated. He felt that he was supposed to do something; that he should have said something else to Ginny, better than what he did. Before tonight he didn't want to believe that he felt anything toward Ginny, he wouldn't believe it. But after tonight, and what he said to Orion, he was forced to address those thoughts he tried to keep pushed to the back of his mind. He really did care about Ginny, he felt connected to her somehow; whether it was the cutting or the fact that he could relate to almost everything she wrote about in her journal. He wasn't to sure about that Orion guy though, he came off as a jerk to Malfoy… but who knows, every time he saw him around Ginny, he seemed nice enough… what ever. Malfoy wasn't the type to dwell on those kinds of things.

 He was brought back to reality by a chill brought on by a cold wind that had suddenly started blowing. Malfoy looked up to the sky and amongst the thousands of stars he saw long wispy clouds passing by. They looked like ghosts or lost souls, glowing luminously in the dark sky, searching the blackness for something… for what Malfoy wasn't sure. He was reminded of himself and his own search for something; something that was also a mystery to him. Draco felt spent, and empty... what had he accomplished tonight? What had he accomplished ever? Draco dropped his head into his hands, and tears that hadn't come since he was a small child flowed from his eyes. He'd never felt so lost, desperate just for something to grasp onto, he didn't care what, just some kind of anchor to rely on. He thought disdainfully of what his father would say if he saw him now. He really didn't care anymore though, it never helped him before to dwell on his father's expectations or to dwell on his father period. The cold wind whipped through his robes and he shivered. He bent over and picked up his knife, cleaned it off and put it into his cloak. Standing up he rubbed his eyes and it hit him how tired he was. Draco slowly walked back up to the castle and to his room. Looking at the clock on his wall he saw with a slight shock that it was already past one in the morning. He was relieved that at least tomorrow was Saturday, and that he moved the Quidditch practice to the afternoon. So he fell onto his bed- totally exhausted, into a deep sleep.

~*~*~

After Ginny returned to the castle, she looked at her own clock and saw that it was around 11:30. She lacked the energy to get dressed for bed so she dropped onto the bed in her day clothes and started to cry. That night qualified as one of the worst in her life. She lost her one good friend… other than Malfoy that is…if she could consider him a friend. He was so nice to her before; but she couldn't get the look of utter disgust on his face and the tone of his voice when he saw her cuts. Malfoy was also on her mind; she was so confused about how she felt about him. How could he be such spiteful, hating person in public; but completely different around her? Thinking about these things just confused her more, and she already felt horrible enough. 

Looking down at her arms she saw the numerous amounts of cuts and felt the throbbing pain that emanated from them. This depressed her further, and she wondered how this ever started…or when it got so out of control. Sighing heavily she yawned and fell back onto her pillows.  She was so tired, but found that the pain in her arms prevented her from sleeping, so she got her guitar and a notebook out instead. It had been a long time since she had written or played anything. The strings felt welcoming under fingers though and she played for about and hour or so, the music numbing her pain. After finishing the song she was writing she just messed around with a few tunes and ended up falling asleep with the guitar on her lap. 

~*~*~

            Out of the three students, the only one still awake was Orion. He sat on the edge of his bed running his hands through his hair. He went over the events of the night again and again in his head. _What happened??? _Earlier that evening everything had been alright; life had been fine. Hours later he found out that his best friend was a cutter; had most likely ended that friendship by being a complete idiot. He hadn't meant to act so harshly; he was just severely taken aback. He regretted most everything he said that night… except of course some of the things he said to Malfoy. He had been in such a blind confusion he couldn't even remember most of the things he had done. 

            _But Ginny… oh gosh Gin… _He felt such a deep pain for her; the hurt in her eyes; which soon transformed into cold bitterness at hearing the words Orion so carelessly spat in her face. He felt like such a complete jerk… and for good reason. But he was also confused. _Why would anyone do that to themselves… what leads one to such desperate actions?_ He could see an image in his head of Ginny's arms… of all the scars and the scabs; and then to her form out at the lake, see the glint of her blade in the starlight as she drew her own blood. He pondered as to what caused Ginny to feel such anguish that she would choose to take it out in that way. He looked down at the leather wrapped part of her journal that was laying beside him on the bed. Orion took it in his hands and untied the string from around it; opened to the first date and began to read.

Orion stood with his arms over his chest…though not in an aggressive manner- he was more confused than anything.

            "So, Orion is it? Exactly how much of our little chat did you hear?" Malfoy spoke with a cold voice, but it was just the defensive front he always put on when he felt "threatened" or challenged.

            "Enough to know that you are both pathetic" Orion spat back at him. Inside Malfoy flinched but he didn't let it show how true he actually thought that was… in reference to himself anyway.

            "What would you know Orion, you don't live my life- or Ginny's. You don't know the pain she feels; you really hurt her tonight- that's why she does what she does, you know. People like you. She thought you cared about her, she trusted you, and then you turned on her. She was afraid you finding out, and her fears were confirmed when you found out. You treated her like some inhuman monster that you can just gawk and point at. Don't you see? If you were truly her friend then you would have realized that that was when she needed you the most. Ginny needed you to understand without questioning her; letting her tell you when she was ready. But I guess she was right Orion. To you, she's just some other disposable "friend" that you can toss aside whenever they start to annoy you or you get tired of them. Well, Ginny deserves better than that, maybe you'll realize that someday." Malfoy stared at Orion, who looked about as shocked as he felt about what he just said. _Where did that come from???_ _A _Malfoy_- actually defending someone??_ There's a new one for the world. But after saying that, Malfoy felt more confident… like he needed to get it out; it actually felt good to stand up for someone not himself. 

            Orion wasn't really sure what to say to that. Once he thought on it- every time he saw Ginny when she wasn't with him, she was always alone…or rarely with her "friends". And she always looked so… drained, like emotionally exhausted. It was as though she was just an empty shell of her real self, just going through the motions of life; waiting for something to come along that would end the pain. Was it all just an act she put on in front of me, just because she was afraid of how I would react if I knew what she really felt? _And I just scared her off, _**man**_ I'm such an asshole_. He realized that what most of Malfoy said, was true; except he really did care about Ginny…even though he still found her cutting to be repulsive. He was also confused about Ginny and Malfoy's "relationship" so he decided to try and see what else he could get out of him.

              
            "So what- you think you're this "better" something that Ginny deserves?" Orion replied in a mocking tone. Malfoy's eyes flashed in anger.

            "Yeah right. But I'm all she has right now- thanks to you. Did you see her?? Don't you see what she's doing to herself? And you- you're just pushing her farther into her disparity. Sooner or later she's going to hit rock bottom- if she hasn't already- and I'm not so sure she'll be strong enough to get back up. So what are you gonna do about it Orion?"

            "What?! Are you blaming this on me?? No way! That little freak was pathetic enough before she even met me…" _whoa Orion, where did that come from? _Malfoy's attitude was getting to Orion, and he spoke without thinking first. He hadn't meant to say that about Ginny, but he got what was coming to him anyway; as Malfoy lunged at him and punched him square in the jaw.

            "You stupid bastard! Where do get off saying that about her? I don't know how she ever became friends with you. I guess after a while, being that lonely and in need of a friend, one's disparity might distort their perception of reality. How she ended up with an ass like you is beyond me…"

            "Oh and what do think you are- some kind of knight in shining armor? Come to save poor little Ginny. Yeah well you're not much better than her- you're both sick- you probably got her started on that…" Orion was grasping at straws here- he was so angry with Malfoy, he was just throwing out words, hoping to make something sting him; but Malfoy knew that Orion was faltering, and tried to bring him back around to the point. 

            "Look, this isn't about you or me. This is about Ginny. Damn it Orion. Don't you _understand_?? That's why she cuts herself- because she wants attention, just not in the way you might think. Nobody paid attention to her before, ever. She tried to talk to people but they all just thought she was some kind of deranged freak, just like you. She hasn't had it easy you know. You just transferred here this year right? (Orion nodded, once more confused) Well I'm assuming you don't know Ginny's story then… Here why don't you go read about it, maybe then you'll understand…" Malfoy summoned up the part of Ginny's journal that recounted her second year at Hogwarts. He tossed it over to Orion. Scanning through the pages, Orion noticed that whatever Draco had given him was written by Ginny herself.

            "Where did you get this?" Orion questioned.

            "That's none of your business, now get out of here before I take you out again." Orion snorted and walked off with the book. Well that went well, he thought to himself…

            Malfoy turned back toward the lake, and a light breeze rippled the black surface as the moon danced oddly on the water. He soon became entranced by the rhythmic ebb and flow of the lake and sat down on a rock by the shore. For some reason, even though he thought he said the right thing, Malfoy still felt defeated. He felt that he was supposed to do something; that he should have said something else to Ginny, better than what he did. Before tonight he didn't want to believe that he felt anything toward Ginny, he wouldn't believe it. But after tonight, and what he said to Orion, he was forced to address those thoughts he tried to keep pushed to the back of his mind. He really did care about Ginny, he felt connected to her somehow; whether it was the cutting or the fact that he could relate to almost everything she wrote about in her journal. He wasn't to sure about that Orion guy though, he came off as a jerk to Malfoy… but who knows, every time he saw him around Ginny, he seemed nice enough… what ever. Malfoy wasn't the type to dwell on those kinds of things.

 He was brought back to reality by a chill brought on by a cold wind that had suddenly started blowing. Malfoy looked up to the sky and amongst the thousands of stars he saw long wispy clouds passing by. They looked like ghosts or lost souls, glowing luminously in the dark sky, searching the blackness for something… for what Malfoy wasn't sure. He was reminded of himself and his own search for something; something that was also a mystery to him. Draco felt spent, and empty... what had he accomplished tonight? What had he accomplished ever? Draco dropped his head into his hands, and tears that hadn't come since he was a small child flowed from his eyes. He'd never felt so lost, desperate just for something to grasp onto, he didn't care what, just some kind of anchor to rely on. He thought disdainfully of what his father would say if he saw him now. He really didn't care anymore though, it never helped him before to dwell on his father's expectations or to dwell on his father period. The cold wind whipped through his robes and he shivered. He bent over and picked up his knife, cleaned it off and put it into his cloak. Standing up he rubbed his eyes and it hit him how tired he was. Draco slowly walked back up to the castle and to his room. Looking at the clock on his wall he saw with a slight shock that it was already past one in the morning. He was relieved that at least tomorrow was Saturday, and that he moved the Quidditch practice to the afternoon. So he fell onto his bed- totally exhausted, into a deep sleep.

~*~*~

After Ginny returned to the castle, she looked at her own clock and saw that it was around 11:30. She lacked the energy to get dressed for bed so she dropped onto the bed in her day clothes and started to cry. That night qualified as one of the worst in her life. She lost her one good friend… other than Malfoy that is…if she could consider him a friend. He was so nice to her before; but she couldn't get the look of utter disgust on his face and the tone of his voice when he saw her cuts. Malfoy was also on her mind; she was so confused about how she felt about him. How could he be such spiteful, hating person in public; but completely different around her? Thinking about these things just confused her more, and she already felt horrible enough. 

Looking down at her arms she saw the numerous amounts of cuts and felt the throbbing pain that emanated from them. This depressed her further, and she wondered how this ever started…or when it got so out of control. Sighing heavily she yawned and fell back onto her pillows.  She was so tired, but found that the pain in her arms prevented her from sleeping, so she got her guitar and a notebook out instead. It had been a long time since she had written or played anything. The strings felt welcoming under fingers though and she played for about and hour or so, the music numbing her pain. After finishing the song she was writing she just messed around with a few tunes and ended up falling asleep with the guitar on her lap. 

~*~*~

            Out of the three students, the only one still awake was Orion. He sat on the edge of his bed running his hands through his hair. He went over the events of the night again and again in his head. _What happened??? _Earlier that evening everything had been alright; life had been fine. Hours later he found out that his best friend was a cutter; had most likely ended that friendship by being a complete idiot. He hadn't meant to act so harshly; he was just severely taken aback. He regretted most everything he said that night… except of course some of the things he said to Malfoy. He had been in such a blind confusion he couldn't even remember most of the things he had done. 

            _But Ginny… oh gosh Gin… _He felt such a deep pain for her; the hurt in her eyes; which soon transformed into cold bitterness at hearing the words Orion so carelessly spat in her face. He felt like such a complete jerk… and for good reason. But he was also confused. _Why would anyone do that to themselves… what leads one to such desperate actions?_ He could see an image in his head of Ginny's arms… of all the scars and the scabs; and then to her form out at the lake, see the glint of her blade in the starlight as she drew her own blood. He pondered as to what caused Ginny to feel such anguish that she would choose to take it out in that way. He looked down at the leather wrapped part of her journal that was laying beside him on the bed. Orion took it in his hands and untied the string from around it; opened to the first date and began to read.

A/N: so there you have it… for like the one person who reads my writing… its nothing great… I dunno if it even makes sense… I revised it a long time ago… and I haven't read it since… ah well, feel free to flame away, I don't mind. but I would be more appreciative of constructive criticism. thanks folks. I dunno when I'll next have stuff… this is all the farther I've written and that was months ago… I've only updated cause I was asked to. help me out kids. 


End file.
